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Don't place me in your eyes, I may fall as a tear.

Place me in your heart, so that every beat reminds you that
this friend is always there for you!

Affection is sign of love, laughing is sign of happiness, praying is sign of good faith and choosing me as a friend is your first act of smartness.

In 2008, Rajnikanth lost his wallet.

And the world went into RECESSION.

They say when you dream of someone that person misses you.
I wonder if he has dreams of me, because I sure miss him!

I'm a 5 letter word,

If all the 5 letters are available, I am a talent in you.

If you remove my first letter, I'll die.

If you remove my first 2 letters, I'll be sick.

What am I?

A compliment is a statement of an agreeable truth;

And flattery is the statement of an agreeable untruth.

Good Day!

In USA, Edison's birthday is celebrated every year by power cut of 2 minutes.

In India, we celebrate it daily for 4-6 hours due to over respect!

I'll give u one kiss to go to sleep. I'll give u two kisses to dream. I'll give u an endless row of kisses to, when u wake up in the morning, think of me.

Barber to Banta: You are losing your hair fast, Sir! Are you doing anything to save it?

Banta: Yes, I am getting a divorce!

A man's silence can break a woman's heart into pieces.

While a woman's silence gives a thousand peaceful moments to a man!

I cherish our friendship so much that I shall sail in it at all times irrespective of the state of waters. It shall end only with my sinking with it.

Happy Friendship Day!

Heavy rains remind us of challenges in life. Never ask for a lighter rain. Just pray for a better umbrella. That is attitude.

God`s blessings may come as a surprise and how much you receive depends on how much your heart can believe. May you be blessed beyond what you expect!

People with talent will be lucky;

People who work hard will become successful;

And people with talent who work hard will become great!

Grant that I may bring tear to an eye;

When this new year in time shall end.

Let it be said I have played the friend;

Have lived and loved and labored here;

And made of it, a happy year!

Happy New Year, dear friend!

Vande Mataram:


Mother, I salute thee!

Rich with thy hurrying streams,

bright with orchard gleams,

Cool with thy winds of delight,

Dark fields waving Mother of might,

Mother free.

~ Bankim Chandra Chattopadhyay

Happy 26 January!

Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.

Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

Once upon a time, something happened to me. It was the sweetest thing that ever could be, it was a fantasy, a dream come true. It was the day I met u!

The scary thing about dating is that one is either going to marry that person or break up!

Be unique and different, just say yes.

All local trains in Mumbai are running late today, not on account of heavy rains but because of an "overweight girl called Varsha.

Just heard an announcement in Hindi saying,

"Bhaari VARSHA Ke Karan Sabhi Gadiyan Deri Se Chal Rahi Hain!"

Irony: IPL 7 is being telecast live on Sony HD, Channel No. 420 on Tata Sky!

May you have:

All the joy your heart can hold;

All the smiles a day can bring;

All the blessings a life can unfold;

And all the happiness you can share.

Wishing you a very happy birthday!

"Pappu Pappu"

"Yes Papa"

"Watching movies?"

"No Papa"

"Watching videos?!"

"No Papa"

"Show me Browser History"

"Ha Ha Ha!"

Pigs Love Story:

Pig: I love you!

Piglet: Really? Are you Suar?

Pig: Yes baby, I am Suar!

The new disaster training code:


Whenever Asaram says HARI OM, the female devotees should HURRY HOME!

Temptation - Something which when resisted gives happiness and which when yielded to gives greater happiness!

Speech has a great impact.

Those who speak rudely cannot even sell Honey;

But those who speak sweetly can sell Chillies also!

Working on a weekend is like wetting your pants in a dark suit. You get a warm feeling but no one else notices.

Have a nice weekend!

Smiling is a sign of one's good mood;

Laughing is a sign of happiness;

Praying is a sign of good faith;

Have "YOU" as my Friend is a

sign of Ganesha's Blessings.

Happy Ganesh Chaturthi!

You may not be there yet but you're sure closer than yesterday!

Don't ever be angry on your friends;

Because until the last moment of our life, what hurts us the most is not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends!

Good Day!

Does Rajniknath smoke?

No, he just fires.

A Friend's Luv says: If U ever need anything, I'll be there.
True Luv says: U'll never need anything, I'll be there

All those who find their love today, Happy Valentine's Day;

And all those who don't, Happy Ballantine's Day!

God knows ur future. He may not reveal it to u, but he'll walk with u & the future unfolds. Don't trust the stars, trust the ONE who made them. Gud Day!

You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. (James Allen)

Worry is like a rocking chair, it keeps you busy but takes you nowhere.

Good Night!

Bar owner: You can't stand here. You're blocking the fire exit.

Santa: Don't worry. If there's a fire, I won't be standing here!

Santa was weeping at a grave, "Why did you die? Why did you die? Your death ruined my life."

Banta: For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent? Wife? or Girlfriend?

Santa: My wife’s first husband.

A boy was teaching maths to a girl. He kissed her & then kissed her again & said, this is addition. Then the girl kissed him & said, this is subtraction. Then they kissed each other & said, this is multiplication. Suddenly the girl's dad came & beat the boy & threw him away & said this is called DIVISION.

You're smart and you're strong;

You've been created as a perfect blend;

You're my father, you're a noble soul;

You're my counselor and a really great friend!

Happy Father's Day!

Banta: What are you going to do today?

Santa: Nothing.

Banta: You did that yesterday.

Santa: Yes, but I wasn't finished.

Smile in pleasure... Smile in pain... Smile when trouble pours like rain... Smile when someone hurts u... Smile coz someone still loves to see u Smilinig.

The best cosmetics in life:

Truth for lips;

Pity for eyes;

Charity for hands;

Smile for face;

And Love for heart.

Use them every day to make life Beautiful.

Good day!

A caring mother;

A loving daughter;

A doting grandmother;

An affectionate sister;

An all weather friend;

But why always an angry wife?

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Angry... but caring, loving, doting, affectionate and friendly companion!

Happy Women's Day!

A woman may love you from the bottom of her heart, but there's always room for some other guy at the top!

The security guard saluted Santa when he checked out of the hotel.

Santa: Take these 100 rupees.


Guard: Thank you, Sir!

Santa: "Thank you" baad me bolna, mujhe khulle chahiye, 50-50 ke do note hain?

Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate & the third is routine.

You know you're ugly... when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera!

What most women want is just YOU; after you have taken her to the Jeweller's and an overseas holiday!

Advantage of having an affair with married women...

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Saale, Malum Tha Buhut Jaldi Nichhe Aayega!

Life has no rewinds n forwards. It unfolds itself at its own pace. So never miss a chance to live today to make a beautiful story for tomorrow. Gud Day.

Three solutions to every problem:

Accept it, change it, leave it.

If you can't accept it, change it.

If you can't change it, leave it.

A reasent studdi haz shon dat peepal hoo aar vary samaart end gud lukeeng maik manee spallings meestaikes... vaat ees yorr opeeniun?

You look wonderful together. Here`s wishing you love and joy forever. Happy Wedding Anniversary!

Women have amazing strength. They can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens without batting an eyelid. She not only manages her family, she manages all the daily chores with elan.

Salute to all the women of the world!

Happy Women's Day!

Lips don't join when you say L O V E - it's a sign of distance;

But when you say F R I E N D S H I P, lips join - it's is a sign of togetherness.

Listening to your WAGs is like reading the "Terms and Conditions" of a website.

You don't understand anything, still you confirm

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"I Agree"!

Why is there an `Eject` button on the DVD remote?

In any case, one still has to get up and take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge!

I luv my eyes when u look into them; I luv my name when u say it; I luv my heart when u luv it; I luv my life when you are in it.

Don't let your ears witness what your eyes didn't see.

Don't let your mouth speak what your heart doesn't feel.

Always live an honest and truthful life.

Good morning!

Santa went into a public toilet and came out after one hour. The sweeper sitting outside asked for 20 rupees. Shocked Santa said, I was sitting in a toilet and not a cyber cafe.

If one is supposed to learn from one's mistakes, why do some people have more than one child!

If you can't find the right words for certain situations, just give a smile.

Words may confuse, but a SMILE always convinces.

Once Dravid lost his ID, then everyone called him, everyone called him











'Drav'!

Maths may not teach one as how to add love or subtract hate;

But it gives one every reason to hope that every problem has a solution.

Tell a therapist, not Facebook.

As u face a brand new day, bow ur head & say this prayer: Thank u Lord for having this amazingly gud luking sender. May his smartness increases everyday.

Wife is 'Received call'

Girl is 'Dialed call'

Aunty is 'Missd call'

Lover is 'Waiting call'

But friendship is FEVICOL.

Yeh Hai Majboot Jhod!

Advice of dentist. "Treat ur girl friend like a toothbrush. Don't let any body else use it, and get a new one every three months.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup;

Whenever you are wrong, admit it and whenever you are right, shut up!

Lawyer: You want a divorce because your husband is careless about his appearance?

Woman: Yes, he hasn't showed up in 18 months!

It's not bad to be a dumb. Half of the world is dependent on computers with Zero IQ!

A lady tells Santa, `If you were my husband, I would poison your drink`! Santa replied, `Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it!`

Santa: Why did you give away the scarf to Preeto that your friend presented you on your birthday?

Jeeto: It was too tight!

I'd walk a mile for one of your smiles... and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue!

I like watching you and I like to spend my time with you;
But you are always surrounded by people... being the main attraction of the Zoo!

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them in real!

Steal your victim's cell phone and tape it under a desk or chair, or hide it somewhere they'll never find it. Then start calling them while keeping your phone hidden.

People Fall in luv not knowing why or how. It's so special a feeling that it doesn't require much answers. U just luv no matter how stupid u become.

The extreme amount of happiness and pain can be felt only If you love and trust someone very truly from our heart!

What has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps, can run but never walks, and has a bank but no money?

I pray to God for your long and happy life! A very warm wishes and love on this auspicious occasion of Bhai Dooj!

Wishing you lots of joy and happiness on this special day. May it be the start of a wonderful and exciting life together for both of you!

Best wishes and lots of love on your wedding!

Santa: How's Ur Sex Life?

Banta: As ususal great, Monday to Friday.

Santa: What about the weekends?

Banta: Weekends? Oh! that time I'm at home, relaxing with my wife.

Stages of life:

1. You believe in Santa Claus

2. You don't believe in Santa Claus

3. You are Santa Claus

4. You look like Santa Claus

Merry Christmas!

Bisla walked into a bar. And raised it.

Life is not rehearsal. Each day is a new show, no repeat and no rewind. So give your best shot in all your acts, as the show goes on and on...

Good Morning!

Extending one hand to help somebody has more value than joining two hands for prayer!

You don't die if you fall in water, you die only if you don't swim.

So always try to understand the deeper meaning of life.

Good Night!

Find a small picture of a a funny creature ( monkey , donkey , baboon, etc) and use a glue stick to place it over the photo on victim's driver's license. Then send them out for beer, or have some better excuse to send them somewhere where they need to show their ID.

7 days make a Week

7 notes make a Music

7 colors make a Rainbow

7 continents make a World

And 7 beautiful letters make us FRIENDS!

I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings;

I'm a drunkard, I go to parties!

Rajnikanth`s pulse is measured in Richter scale.

Whatever you may do - either good or do bad, people'll always have something to say; and that too, negative!

Good Night!

Santa at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!

Pappu: My teacher is really crazy.

Pinky: What did she do?

Pappu: She keeps talking to her imaginary friend named 'Class'!

May I hold your hand for the whole life?

It is your hand which fills the spaces of my hands.

British boy: You look beautiful today,love.
American boy: Yo ass is kickin.

Be thankful for the bad things in life. For they opened your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before!

Keep your head in the clouds...

You'll be the first to know when it rains;

And in best position to see the silver lining!

The most important quality of successful people is their willingness to change.

Good Morning!

I am feeling WEEK:

Hate Monday

Annoy Tuesday

Ignore Wednesday

Smile Thursday

Enjoy Friday

Love Saturday

Damn Sunday

I tried being normal once. Worst 2 minutes of my life.

If life on Earth is temporary. What makes you think that your problems are permanent!

Rajnikanth makes coffee by grinding beans with his teeth and boiling milk with his anger.

Jab Kutte Ki Mout Aati Hai, Toh...

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To Kutta Mar Jata Hai.

Tumhe To Har Baat Mein Twist Chahiye. Kutta Hai, Koi Rajinikanth Nahi!