Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage badho
Santa aage nahin badha
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin badhay?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage badho, mein 10ve number pe tha

Banta: Yaar teri wife di maut da bara afsos hoya,
vaise hoya ki si?

Santa: Goli lagi si mathe vich.

Banta: Waheguru ji da shukar kar ke aakh bach gayi.

Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone number pata hai...?
Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?
Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si.

Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tenuh eh vi nahin pata,
Jab auto mein koi Ganji Ladki ja rahi ho to
usay kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI...

Santa: If I die will u remarry?
Jeeto: No! I will stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Santa: No, I will also stay with your sister

Santa: I got old age pension by showing Grey hair on my chest.

Jeeto: Pant ki zip khol ke dikha dete tou
Disability Allowances bhi mil jaata...

Santa: Raat film vich ik chudail kade mere aggey,
kade mere pichchey...

Jeeto: Kehri film si ?

Santa: Apne Shaadi di movie si !

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: Why r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read, 'Parking for two wheelers only'

See what a spelling mistake can do...
Santa went to Goa. Sent SMS to his wife:
Having a wonderful time, wish u were Her.