Boys say it's great,
boys say it's fine.
nine months later
they say it is not mine!

Teacher: I killed a person convert this sentence into future tense.
Pathan: The future tense is u will go to jail.

Bacha: Mummmy muje is dukaan se patakhe lene hain
Mummy: beta yeh dukaan nahi girls hostal hay
Bacha: Lekin papa tou keh rahe thay k sheher k saray patakhe yahan hain

A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, ""Dad, why do u keep telling people u are dying of
AIDS?""
Answer:""So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom!""

What are the three fastest ways of communication?
Three fastest means of communication in the world.
Tele-phone
Tele-vision
Tell-a-woman.
You still want faster?
Tell her not to tell anyone :-)

One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
MOM : ""Wake up, son. It's time to go to school.""
SON : ""But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school.""
MOM : ""Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school.""
SON : ""One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.""
MOM : ""Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.""
SON : ""Give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school?""
MOM : ""One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities.
Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray ""Take only one. God is watching.""
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, ""Take all you want. God is watching the apples.""

God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light .
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

Doctor: your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.