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Santa talking on phone.
Banta: Kis se baat kar rahe ho?
Santa: Biwi se. Banta: Itne pyar se...?
Santa: Tumhari hai.

Hawa me taash ka Ghar nahi banta,rone se bigda muqaddar nahi banta,duniya jitne ka hausla rakh e dost,1 jeet se koi sikandandar nahi banta.

Santa Singh is Flying from Moscow to Delhi. To his surprise, sitting right beside him is Gary Kasporov, the world Chess Champion. Santa has always been in awe of Chess players, and immediately starts up a conversation with Gary about the Nuances of the Game etc. Gary says ... ""How would You like to Play me for $ 500/ US""? Santa: ""But you-re too damn good"". Gary: ""I-ll play left handed"". Santa cant resist the bet and accepts. Kasparov, Check Mates our Sardar in 8 Moves ....... Santa is still scratching his head, as he leaves the airplane. Upon Reaching Amritsar, Santa tells Banta about the game he had with Kasparov. Banta: ""Tu bhi pura buddhu hai Santa"". (You-re an absolute fool Santa) Santa: ""kyon"" (why)? Banta: ""Abe chooteye ........ Gary Kasparov Khabbu hai"". (You idiot, Gary Kasparov IS a lefty, no wonder he beat you left handed).

Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there
on time. He is immediately hauled inside in front of the
interviewing officer. Officer looks at Santa singh Then goes thru his
certificates and then starts asking him questions.

Following is the transcript :

O : Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials
I would like to ask you only some simple questions. If you can
answer those then you are selected. First we will start with some
opposites

S : Yes Sir.

Officer started asking questions

O : Above
S : Below
O : Front
S : Back
O : Left
S : Right
O : Male
S : Female
O : Ugly (means Next in Punjabi)
S : Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)
O : Ugly...U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it)
S : Pichhly...P-I-C-H-H-L-Y( Our sardar also spells it)
O : U.....G.....L ...... Y.....(Officer shouts)
S : P ..... I ..... C ..... H ....... H ...... L ..... Y......
Our sardar also shouts)

#Officer is now angry.
O : Get out
S : Come in.
O : Quiet please.
S : Talk please.
O : You are rejected.
S : I am selected ........ ....... and This is how Santa Singh got
his job.

Banta singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied ""Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and at last I wrote THUNK !!!""

Santa Singh is walking the other day and comes across a banana peel on the road. Can you guess what he must be thinking ?? ""Saala aaj bhi girna padega...""

Santa singh and Banta singh are employed in a computer hardware store as movers. One day both of them are asked to move some computers. Santa Singh being energetic that day doesn-t feel the computer to be heavy at all. At the same time he sees that Banta Singh is struggling very hard to lift his computer. And this Santa Singh says "" What Banta, my comp has 500 MB HD and yours has just 250, even then u cannot lift it ???"" At this Banta Singh thinks for a while and replies ""Thats right, but my HD is full and urs is empty""

Banta and Santa are sitting in a bar and watching the 11:00 P.M. news. A man is standing on the ledge of a high-rise building, contemplating suicide.

Banta says to the Santa : ""I-ll bet you $20.00 that the man jumps off that building and commits suicide.""

The Santa thinks for a moment then replies: ""OK, you-re on""

They watch for a few minutes and sure enough, the man jumps off the ledge. Santa sighs and reaches for his wallet, but Banta stops him, saying: ""I can-t take your money - I feel too guilty. I have to confess that I watched the 6:00 P.M. news this evening and I knew that the man would jump.

Santa replied: ""Oh, I watched the 6:00 P.M. news too, but I didn-t think he-d jump off again""

Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point, ""Oh..we-ll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?""
That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, ""No problem! we-ll attack USA, it would
take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we-ll automatically get developed.""
All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word.
Someone asked him why he wasn-t happy. The surd replied, ""OH! THAT-S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????""