Santa Got mail !
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbor, our Santa, came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. He opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.
A little later Santa came out of his house again,looking nervous, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house he went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here Santa came again, looking very heated up. He marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by his actions, the man asked him, Is something wrong Santa ji?
To which Santa replied, There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail !!

Santa was booked into an Air India flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an aeroplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place.
When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, Santa declared loudly, I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don`t charge me for food and drinks!
So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, Santa began spreading out his own home-cooked meal. The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher and was curious about the food.
Excuse me, what is that drink? he asked.
Santa picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, Milk of India!
Then Santa took out several pieces of chappatis and started feasting.
And what is that dish? asked the curious American.
Wheat of India! replied Santa proudly.
Finally, Santa took out some desserts. He offered some to the American.
What is it? asked the American.
Sweets of India! replied Santa.
After the meal, everyone was settling down when there was a loud `Pooooooooot!` sound (fart) from Santa.
What was that? asked the American, holding his nose in disgust.
Santa replied coolly, That`s Air India.

Santa and Banta are walking home after a night on the piss. They--ve got no money to get a taxi and are staggering all over the place when they find themselves outside the bus depot.
Santa has a brainwave and says to Banta, Get in there and steal a bus so we can drive home and I--ll stay out here and look out for the police.
Banta breaks into the garage and is gone for twenty minutes while Santa is wondering what the hell he--s doing.
Eventually Santa sticks his head around the door and sees Banta running from bus to bus and looking very worried.
What the hell are you doing, get a move on!
To which Banta replies, I can--t find a number 25B anywhere.
whereupon Santa, holding his hands to his head in disbelief, shouts, You idiot, steal a number 27 and we--ll get off at the roundabout and walk the rest of the way!

ik dafa ik teacher ne satna se kaha k BARIF
KO JUMLE(santence)main istimal karo
tu santa ne kaha pani thunda hai
teacher ne ghuse se kaha k is jumle main BARIF kahan hai
tu santa ne masomeyat se kaha k sir barif tu pigal gai

chota sardaar: Papa, papa, ye Ford kya hoti hain?
Badha Sardaar: beta, ye Ford Gaddi hoti hain
Chota Saardar: papa,papa,ye Oxford kya hoti hain
Badha Sardaar: beta, Ye Oxford Bail Gaddi hoti hain.

----------------

banta Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
Is this one one one one?, says the voice.
No, this is eleven eleven.
Are you sure it isn--t one one one one?
No, this is eleven eleven.
Well, wrong number. I am Santa calling, sorry to have woken you up on the middle of the night.
That--s all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway.

Once a sardarji calls another sardar on the phone and says --Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon--. The other sardarji replies --Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!--

------------------------------------------------------

A policeman pulled Santa Singh over after he had been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: Do you know where you were going? Santa: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the people were leaving

Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway station ticket
counter with two men ahead of him.
Ek Punjab Mail dena.-- demanded the man in front. He was given a ticket.
--Ek Punjab Mail dena.-- the second man asked and was handed a ticket.
Then came the turn of Banta Singh, --Ek Punjab female dena!--
--What do u mean by Punjab female?-- asked the clerk.
--It is for my wife-- replied Banta Singh.

Banta died. Santa wanted to put an obituary in the local paper. He went to the newspaper agency and filled in the form and wrote Banta Died. The clerk said for the same 200 Rupees you can write more. So Santa wrote Banta Died Toyota For Sale .

Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, --Aap ke paas color TV hai
kya?--
--Haan-- replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, --Ek hara vala dena!--

Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Sardar: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
if u like this SMS send me on...03004401587

At a football match ground. Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne?
Boy: Goal karan lai.
sardar: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.
if u like this SMS send me on...03004401587

Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, --Aap ke paas
color TV hai kya?-- --Haan-- replies shop owner. Santa
Singh says, --Ek hara vala dena

like to call ((03333979633))

Pappu, while filling up a form:

Dad, what should I write for mother
tongue.?

Santa: Very long!


0321-7318981

One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.

A lady came and asked him, Are you relaxing
Sardar answered ---------------- No I am Banta Singh.

Another Guy Came and asked the same Question.
Sardar answered No No Me ! Banta Singh.

Third one came and asked the same question, Sardar was totally annoyed and
decided to shift his place.

While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach.

He went and asked him Are you Relaxing?. The other Sardar was much educated and
answered Yes I am relaxing.

The Sardar slapped him on his face and said Idiot, they are all searching for
you and you are sitting here


03216371610
03337616430

Santa: What is the meaning of SMS?

Banta: It Means...

S - Sardaro ka.
M - Mazaak udane ki.
S - Service.


03216371610
03337616430

Santa and Banta are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Banta smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around...

ali , 0345-4433070

Two drunks, Santa and Banta, enter a hotel late at night. They approach the night-clerk, and Santa says, Could you pleash give ush a bed with two rooms?
You mean a room with two...

ali , 0345-4433070 sms only

A man from Lahore was touring Punjab and got lost. He saw Santa working in his field and stopped for directions. Santa told him how to get to Shimla. The man wanted to talk a bit so...

ali , 0345-4433070 , sms only

Santa khali kadahi me chammach chala raha tha to Banta ne poocha kya bana
rahe ho?

Santa- BEWAKOOF bana raha hoon.


03216371610
03337616430

Tutor to Santa: Write ur father name in English

Santa: Beautiful Red Underwear

Tutor: Are u joking?

Santa: No Sir his name is Sundar Lal Chadda

0346-6625521
0321-7760380

If u like then cal me

Santa n Banta were watchin a cricket match. When Dhoni hits a boundary.
Banta: Kya Goal mara.
Santa: Raha na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal ismein nahin cricket mein hota hai

0346-6625521
0321-7760380
if u lik then call or sms me

Santa declares: I--ll never marry in my life and I--ll give same advice to my children also.




if u like to contact then 03214041419

A cop stops his patrol car when he sees Banta and his girlfriend sitting on the curb. Banta is laying on his side with his pants pulled down, the girl has her finger in his butt, and she--s reaming away with a vengeance.

The cop says, What the hell is going on?

The girl says, This is my date. When I told him I wouldn--t spend the night with him, he started pounding down the booze. Now, he--s too drunk to drive me home, so I--m trying to sober him up by making him puke.

The cop says, That--s not going to make him puke.

She says, Yeah? Wait till I switch this finger to his mouth.

Muhammad Arshad
0334-5053889

Santa and Banta fly to the south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later Santa takes a boat over to the other island to see how Banta is doing. When he gets there, he finds Banta standing among a group of natives.

Greetings! How is it going? says Santa.

Wonderful! says Banta, I have discovered an important fact about the local language! Watch!

He points at a palm tree and says, What is that?

The natives, in unison, say, Umbalo-gong!

He then points at a rock and says, And that?

The natives again intone, Umbalo-gong!

You see!, says the beaming Banta, They use the SAME word for --rock-- and for --palm tree--!

That is truly amazing! says the astonished Santa, On the other island, the same word means --index finger--!

Muhammad Arshad
0334-5053889

A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care ward, put in a bed, tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition.

Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, Bengali.

The other patient signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said, Punjabi.

This act tired them out so badly it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say, Calcutta.

Other replied in a weedy frail voice, Ludhiana.

Once more, the strain was too much for them both and they passed out. Days passed before the first patient managed to again point to himself and say, Asit.

Replied the other, Santa.

A few hours later, Asit managed to point to himself again and rasp out weakly, Cancer.

Santa responded, Sagittarius.

Muhammad Arshad
0334-5053889

Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor
At 50th floor he remembers I don--t have a daughter!
At 25th floor: I--m unmarried!
At 10th floor: I--m Banta not Santa

............................................

Sunnycheema36@hotmail.com
OR
03458610636
......

Letter to Mr.Bill Gates from Banta singh:

Dear Mr Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears. We face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.

I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.


03216371610

Jewellery shop mein Santa ki zabardast pitaayi ho gai.




Why?





Sanata ne sales-girl se kaha: Aapki ek ek item gazab ki hai. Sone ka kya rate lengi.


03216371610

Santa samose K andar ka masala kha raha tha
banta:Yeh kya hai?
Santa:Boleto bhai doctor ne mujhe bahar ka khana mana kiya hai


Share sms @ 0313-4862471

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.

Banta : Yaar udas kion ho?
Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.


Share sms @0313-4862471

Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

Share sms wid smile @ 0313-4862471

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child


Share sms @ 0313-4862471

Interview : wt is ur qualification ?

santa: sir I’m Ph.d.

Interviewer : wt do u mean by Ph.d.

santa: (smiling)Passed High School with Difficulty.


Share sms @ 0313-4862471

Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a
double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But
unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa
went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching
the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, “ Banta Singh! What
the heck’s going’ on? Why are you scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?”
Scared Banta replies. “Yeah, but you’ve got a *driver.* “

Share sms @ 0313-4862471

Santa and Banta had just bought two horses.Now the problem was that they could not differenciate between the two horses.So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.While doing so,an enemy of Santa looks at him.This enemy also cuts the left ear of banta.By doing so santa and banta come in confusion to differenciate. So, next thing santa keeps on cutting his horse--s right ear , then his tail , then makes him blind and so on .And the enemy also kept on doing so with banta--s horse.At last Santa--s horse had no legs left and banta--s horse was with one leg only .The enemy also went and cut banta--s horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to diffrenciate thier horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to thier mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and i will keep the white .

To share sms
type
Shareur name ur city name
and send it to 0313-4862471