Q: What is difference between watch & wife:?
A: Ek kharaab hoti hai tou band ho jaati hai aur doosri kharab hoti hai tou chaloo ho jaati hai.

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, ""You know, I was a fool when I married you.""
She replied, ""Yes, dear, but I was in love & did not notice.""

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said, ""I have found a man just like father!""
Mother replied, ""So what do u want from me, sympathy?""

Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight?
Wife: That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

Man: I want a divorce. My wife has not spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!

Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary.""
Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that to make me jealous!""

What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!

Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(girlfriend), what is permanent is boring(wife)

Q: Why does not law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!