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Santa: When I was a child, homosexuality was a crime in India. As I grew up, it was acceptable. Now it's legal. I'd better leave India b4 they make it compulsory.

Santa: I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Great legs".

Banta: Go on. I am all ears.

Santa: The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so". I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now"!

Santa: My wife went out for drinks with the girls from her work. I am sure there would be a fight between us tonight.

Banta: But why fight?

Santa: Bcoz she simply would get back and tell me EVERYTHING that's wrong with me.

Santa: There are 2 types of people who really irritate me.

Banta: What kind?

Santa: Drunk persons when I'm sober and sober ones when I'm drunk.

Santa to a fellow Delhi Metro passenger, "Pardon me, when does Connaught Place station arrive?"

Fellow Passenger: Just watch me get off one station after you do.

Santa: Thank you!

Santa rings the fire brigade. He says, "My house is on fire".

Officer: How do we get there?

Santa: In the big red truck.

Santa was taking unreasonably long time in the bathroom.

Jeeto shouted, "Did you find the shampoo?"

Santa: Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine. So now I am waiting for my hair to dry before I can use it!

Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?"
Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library."
Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"

Santa: Which is better, Google or Yahoo?

Banta: Oh wait, I`ll search it on Google.