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Santa: My wife died yesterday. I'm trying to cry but tears are not coming out, what to do?

Banta: No problem. Just Imagine she came back.

A lady calls Santa for repairing her door bell. Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again. Santa replies, "I have been coming daily for the last 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out."

Santa had a leakage in the roof right above the dining table.

Plumber: Sir when did you notice it?

Santa: Last night, when it took me 3 hours to finish my soup!

Santa bought a car on loan from a bank. He did not pay the dues; the bank took away his car.

Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!

Banta to Santa: What, according to you, is the difference between a wife and a girl friend?

Santa: Wife is like a Demand Draft - trust-worthy all the time; and girl friend is like a Cheque, which may bounce any time!

Santa talking 2 his son, Pappu: U should never lie. One lie begets another lie; then another lie; and b4 U realise it, U become a lawyer.

Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?

A: Because it was an entrance exam.

Santa was weeping at a grave, "Why did you die? Why did you die? Your death ruined my life."

Banta: For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent? Wife? or Girlfriend?

Santa: My wife’s first husband.

The security guard saluted Santa when he checked out of the hotel.

Santa: Take these 100 rupees.


Guard: Thank you, Sir!

Santa: "Thank you" baad me bolna, mujhe khulle chahiye, 50-50 ke do note hain?