Funny

You should do two things in the morning- 1) Pray to God so you can live and 2) have a shower so others can live.

Come, work for the Lord.
The work is hard, the hours long and the pay is low.
But the retirement benefits are out of this world.

Height of Job Satisfaction:

A young man got a job in a girls hostel. After 2 months, the Principal asked, "Why didn't you draw your salary?"

Man: Oh my God! There's salary also?

A friend is 1% funny, 2% sweet, 3% caring, 4% loving, 90% good looking.

That's why I am your friend! You are so damn lucky.

An Innovative tagline outside a photo studio:

We can shoot your wife and also frame your mother-in-law!

I've written a poem for you:

Twinkle twinkle little star,

you should know what you are,

and once you know what you are,

Mental hospital is not so far.

Budget 2012:

Coal and LNG exempt from Customs Duty.

How about a barbecue tonight?

My wife says I never take her anywhere expensive. So I took her to the gas station.

The place colder than Antarctica these days is

.

..

...

the side where your quilt ends!