sardar ji

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final
examination which consists of Y/N type questions.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question
paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his
wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the
answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is
all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.

During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin,
swearing and sweating.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

""Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour"". ""But yaar"", he says,
""I am rechecking my answers and am not able to tally them with what I
wrote.""

Three convicts escaped from prison. One was a Madrasi, one a Gujarati,
and one a Sardar. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn
where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up,
they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for
camouflage.

About an hour later the Prison Warden and his assistant came into the barn. The
warden told his assistant to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got
up there the warden asked him what he saw and the assistant yelled back,
""Just three gunnysacks.""

The warden told him to find out what was in them, so the assistant kicked the
first sack, which had the Madrasi in it. He went, ""Bow-wow"", so the assistant
told the warden there was a dog in it.

Then he kicked the sack with the Gujarati in it. He went, ""Meow"", so
the assistant told the warden there was a cat in it.

Then he kicked the one with the Sardar in it, and there was no sound at
all. So he kicked it again, and finally the Sardar said, ""Potatoes"".

While travelling a sardar was carrying a binocular with him.
But he never seemed to use it while looking outside the window.
A co-passenger who was travelling with him asked why he was carrying
binoculars.

The sardar simply said ...
""I am on my way to see a distant relative.""

Once, two Sardars were feeling bored and decided to play a few games
of chess to pass the time.

They were doing this for some time, when two more sardar friends
dropped by. Seeing them play chess, they said -

""Come on guys, we are feeling bored too. Let us play doubles!""

Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station.
He asks one man ""When will
Rajdhani Express go from here""?
Man Replies 12.30.

""When will Punjab Express go from here""?
Man Replies 10.30.

""When will Deccan Queen go from here""?
Man Replies 12.30.

Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains.
Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants
to go to punjab by train or not.

Sardar replies,
""NO. I only want to cross the tracks!""

Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn-t reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him "" Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"" (What Happened, My Son?) The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, ""Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!)

Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father."" Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?"" ""No son, that-s because you are intelligent. "" Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, ""Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Sardar ??"" ""No son, that-s because you are intelligent,"" replies his father. Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father, ""Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was atleast twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar ??"" The father replies, ""No son, that-s because you are 31 years old.""

Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate

""Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese.""

""How come you write ""Chinese"" when both parents are Sikh?"">

""Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person

born on the Earth now is a Chinese.""

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space.

The ground control issues commands

""Rubi!""

""Woof!""

""Press the red button.""

""Woof! Woof!""

""Moti!""

""Woof!""

""Press the white button.""

""Woof! Woof!""

""Sardarji!""

""Woof.""

""Stop barking, feed the dogs and don-t touch anything!""