sardar ji

Sardarji calls Air India.

""How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?""

""Just a sec,"" says the rep.

""Thank you."" says the Sardarji and hangs up.

Sardar Joginder Singh was a great hunter. One day he was telling his historical hunting story of rhinos in the jungle of Tanganyika to his friends in his house.

His wife was a nurse and was in the hospital that time.

Story begins:

Sardar Joginder Singh- I was going to jungle to hunt someone beast when I saw a rhino rushing to me.

I pulled out my sword and cut the front leg of rhino. I put it on right shoulder and made a way to return. Then I saw a female rhino rushing to me in very angry mood. Once there was another battle with female rhino. Finally, I shot dead the female rhino and cut the one leg of that female rhino and put it on my left shoulder. Now I had two legs of rhinos on my shoulders to keep them for memory.


""Suddenly telephone bell rings and Sardar Joginder Singh leaves the meeting to attend the telephone. The phone call was from his wife. He talks her for about 10 minutes and returns to his friends""


Sardar Joginder Singh so what was I saying?


Both legs were on your shoulders--- NEXT? One audience replied.


What next? I pushed and pumped and pumped again and again.

And then there was the one about the Sardar who starved to death in the shower. Apparently, the shampoo instructions on the bottle said ""Lather. Rinse. Repeat.""...

Sardarji Truisms

He spent twenty minutes looking- at an orange juice box because it said concentrate.

He sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

He tripped over a cordless phone.

He took a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.

At the bottom of the application where it says, ""Sign Here"" he put Sagittarius.

He invented a solar powered flashlight.

When he saw the ""NC-17"" (Under 17 not admitted) sign, he went home to get 16 friends.

When he heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, he moved.

When he took you to the airport and saw a sign that said, ""Airport left""; he turned around and went home.

Two Sardarjis were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding, would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in. The other Sardarji, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, ""Why are you throwing those nails away?"" The first Sardarji explained, ""If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it-s pointed TOWARD me I throw it away -cause it-s defective. If it-s pointed toward the HOUSE, then I nail it in!"" The second Sardarji got completely pissed off and yelled, ""You MORON!!! The nails pointed toward you aren-t defective! They-re for the OTHER side of the house!!""

1.How do you confuse a Sardarji?
Put him in a curricular room and tell him to pee in the corner.

2. Why did the Sardarji climb on the roof?
He heard that drinks were on the house.

3. What is the difference between Sardarjis and government bonds?
Bonds mature Sardarjis don-t.

4. A dumb Sardarji and a smart Sardarji jump off of a bridge,
who makes the bigger splash?
The dumb Sardarji because the other don-t exist.

How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Two Sardars were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn-t. The sardar with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch his breath, and his friend said anxiously, ""Hurry up! It-s starting to rain and the top is down.""

A Sardarji, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire himself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. He went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for him to do. ""Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"" The Sardarji said ""How about 50 dollars?"" The man agreed and told him that the paint and ladders that he might need were in the garage. The man-s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, ""Does he realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"" The man replied, ""He should. He was standing on the porch."" A short time later, Sardarji came to the door to collect him money. ""You-re finished already?"" he asked. ""Yes,"" Sardarji answered, ""and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. ""Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. ""And by the way,"" the Sardarji added, ""that-s not a Porch, it-s a Ferrari.""