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Banta: Santa Bhaji, you cannot appreciate this novel because you never wrote a novel.

Santa: I never laid an egg, but I am a better judge of an omelette than any hen.

Banta: In a party, how does every non-veg joke start?

Santa: By looking over your shoulder.

Banta: What is an adult joke?

Santa: Any joke which is 18 years old.

Santa and Banta are drinking at a bar when Banta falls off his stool and slumps motionless to the floor.

Santa says to the bartender, "I'll say this for Banta, he knows when to stop!"

Banta: Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away?

Santa: If you aim it well enough!

Santa: I think Banta will be in hospital for another week.

Jeeto: Pretty ill?

Santa: Oh no - pretty nurse!

Banta: What's the difference between us and Camels?

Santa: They can work without drinking for 7 days

and

We can drink without working for 7 days!

Banta: What is the penalty for bigamy?

Santa: Two mothers-in-law.

After being nicked twice by the barber's razor, Banta asked for a glass of water.

"Sorry, Sir!", said the barber. "Is there a hair in your mouth?"

Banta: No, I want to see if my neck leaks!