Funny

An intelligent wife is one who makes sure she spends so much that her husband can't afford another woman.

If you steal someone's Husband, it is rude;

But if you steal her Maid or Servant,

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It is Unforgettable, Unforgivable and Unpardonable!

Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday...

Extremely Important News!!! :

Dear friends,

Do not eat Ferrero Rocher or Cadbury Chocolates;

and Haagen Daaz and Ben & Jerry Ice Creams or Magnum products .....

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WITHOUT ME.

The most interesting thing about this sms is that by the time you realize that nothing is written in it.... it would be too late for you to stop reading it!

Thief: Quick, the police r coming, jump out of d window.

Accomplice: Bt we are on d 13th floor.

Thief: You idiot, this is no time to be superstitious

I'll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named 'Responsibly'.

In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100% talent, whereas a woman requires only 4% talent & the remaining is only 36-24-36

Tension happens in brain and love is felt in heart. Then why do people get heart attack when they are tensed and why people get mad when they are in love?

I apologize for all the posts last night. Actually, alcohol hacked my account!

Nurse to patient with bleeding head: Your name?

Patient: Santa.

Nurse: Birth Date?

Patient: 28 Feb 1985.

Nurse: Married?

Patient: No Car Accident.

Steve Jobs' last words:

Dear Punjabis,

Please note that

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iPill is not our product

and

iPad is not a sanitary napkin!

Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for
a married man. Gud Luck!

A Solid reason for having two girlfriends at one time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.

Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die.

Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!

He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

If anyone is having a bad day, remember that today in 1976 Ronald Wayne sold his 10% stake in Apple for $800. Now it's worth $58,065,210,000.

A lizard found in Mid-day meal in school in China. 15 children...

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injured while fighting for it!

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

'Yah'.

"Yah who?"

"Naaah, bro! I prefer Google."

A teenage boy to his father: Here's my report card and a list I've compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished their High School.

'Blackmail'
The only crime named after it's primary suspect.