Tag: Funny

Ghussy ka aana mard Hony ki Nishani Hai,,
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mgr
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Ghussy ko p Jana
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"shadi shuda mard"
Hony ki Nishani Hai..., ;-):-P

"Ullu" Ajeeb Parinda Hai:-)
Dunya Isko Naakara samajti Hai
Is Mai Aqal Nahi Hoti
Magr Is ki Himmat Dekho
Ye
sMs kitny Ghor se
Parh Raha Hai
Lo "G" fer bisti ('.')/"
" /)( / / Betho Betho Abhi baki he
Pakistan Ka Sab Se Bara Bewaqoof Insaan Kon Hai?
Ye Jan'nay K Liye Daikhiye Aaj Raat
Theek 12 Baje
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Sheesha
Hahahahahahah.
Fer Bisti.:-)
Koi Nai "G" Ghusa Na Karo Msg Agy sutto sadi v Enj E Bizti Hoe Si.

1 Admi ki aik tang ki haddi toot gayi
Hospital gya to waha dOsrey admi ki dono tangey tooti dekh kar bola !!!
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"Kya aapki 2 biwiyan hain?;-)

ek Admi Apne Rishte ke Liye Tasveer khichwa Raha Tha,
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peeche Gadha bhi tasveer main agaya,
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Admi ne tasveer k peeche likh dia..
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Hum aage wala hy...

Wife: Suno Ji, Larka Paise Urany Laga Hai. Jaha Bhi Chhupati Hoon Dhoond Leta Hai,
Husband: kaminey ki Book Mein Rakh De Exam Tak Nahi Dhoond Pae Ga.!.

Chaa pio ty
khao anday,
Hapy sunday.
Happy Sunday
Sara hafta nahay nai,
Kpry v nvy paaey nai,
Naha dho k ban jo bndy,
Happy sunday,
Happy sunday,,
Purany yaran nu mil k aao,
Dukh wndo chngy mandy,
Happy Sunday.
Happy Sunday""
Have a nice sunday.:-*
Good Morning

Sir: Agar tum 1jungle may ho or wahan sher aa jay to tum kya karogay?
Boy: Me darakht par charhou ga.
Sir: Agar wo sher darkht par b aa jy to?
Boy: Main Pani main kud jaun ga.
Sir: Agar wo Pani main b aa jy to?
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Boy:
Ustad G.. Sher nu behen diti hui aye kia usay di side liye ja rhe ho.

BoY & girl 1 Park me bethe te k pAs hi 1 kute ne kuti ki CHumi Li BoY agr bura na mano to me B krlo Girl Ok Pr smbaL k jana kahi kat na Le:D

Husband:
Tumhari Roz Roz Ki Farmaisho Se Tang Aa K Khudkushi Karne ja Raha Hoon
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Wife:
2/3 Loan K Suit Banwa Do
iddat Main Kiya Pehnoon Gi ??????

Life me Kbi humari dosti K bare me shak ho
To Akele me 1 siKa uchalna!!!
Agr head ho to "WE ARE BEST FRIENDS"
Aur tail ho to....
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Palat dena
yaar
AKele me Kon deKhta hai:-P
Dedicated to All LOVELY Friendzzz.;);-)B-)

1 Wakeel K Betay Ko Uski Maa Ne Thappar Mar Dia..
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Beta Baap K Pas Gya Aur Kaha:
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Ami Ne Muje Bila-Waja Mara Ha.
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Baap Ne Usy 1 Aur Thappar Mara Aur Kaha:
Wakeel K Betay Ho Kr Tumhen Itna Bi Nhe Pta K Supreme Court K Khilaf Appeal High Court Mein Nhe Hoti:-/B-)

Ek admi apni wife ki photo hamesha apni pocket me rakhta tha...
Q.k
Wo jab kabhi kisi pareshani me hota..
To wo apni wife ki photo ko dekhta or sochta..
Agar me is ko face kar sakta hun,
To baqi har chiz ko face kar sakta hun..!

Media Or Wife Me Kya Similarity Hay? .
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Jab Tak Ek Hi Baat, 10 Baar Na Bataye, Tab Tak Dono Ko Sakoon Nahi Milta :-)

BIMARI in style:
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1. Jiya jale jaan jale, raat bhar dhuwaa chale= FEVER
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2. Tarap tarap k is dil se Aah nikalti rahi= HEART ATTACK.
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3. Biri jalayile jigar se piya jigar ma bari aag hai= ACIDITY
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4.Ankhon ki gustakhiyan maaf hn. MOTIYA.
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5.tujhe yad na meri ayi kisi se ab kya kehna= MEMORY LOSS.
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6. Mann dole mera tann dole= MIRGI
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7.juda hoke B, tu mujhme kahin baaki hai= LOOSE MOTION..!
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8.Na tu aye gi na he chain aye ga= QABAZ:-P

Maalkin:Tum 3 din se kam pe nahi ayi or bataya b nahi?
Nokrani:Baji,mene to facebook pe status update kar diya tha k,
"I M Going to gaaon for 3 days.''
Sahib g ne comment b kiya tha,
''Miss U Mumtaz''...

1 Badshah ko 1 LaRki pasand Aagai,
Us LaRki ka Baap sunaaR tha, Badshah ne SunaaR ko DaRbaR me Bulaya,4 Din GuzaRny k Bawajud bhi sunaaR Badshah k DaRbaR me na Aaya to Badshah ne sunaaR ko GiRaftaR kaRny k liey sipaahi Bhejy.jab woh sunaaR k GhaR pohnchy to GhaR ko Taala Laga hua tha, Badshah ne Sipahiyon ko Hukam Diya k sunaaR ko Dhoondo. sipahiyon ne sunaaR ko HaR jagha Dhoonda Lekin wo unko kahein na mila, auR sipahiyon ka SunaaR ko Dhoondny me saRa Waqt Aisy BaRbad hua jesy ap ka is sms ko paRhny me.
Hanso mat meRy sath bhi aisa huwa tha.

Shadi shuda jorey sirf aik hi haal me khush rehtay hain...
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.ab ap pocho gy
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Kis haal me?
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: Shadi hall mein. HAHAHAHA.

1+2+1+5+1+2+5+1+2+5+1+2+10+20+1+5+1+2+1+5+2+1+5+1+2+1+5+1+2+5+1+2+1+5+.10+2+5+1+2+1+5+10+20
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Wah ji Wah,
Kya Bat He,
Jumeraat k Paise Gine ja Rahe Hain Gino G Gino,:-(
Tabi Main kahon k Aaj kal jnab k MSG Hi Nai Atey
4 Paesy kia AA Gay Bh0ol Gaya Sanu,;-):-D:-P
( Happy jumeraat Day).

1 buzurg frmate hen k mjhe 3 qisam k log bure lagte hen
1 Wo Shakhs jo purana kapra pehne jab k us k pas naya kapra ho,
2 Wo jis k pas khana ho or phir b bhoka rahe,
Phir chup ho gye yaha tk k Ankhn me ansu agye
Kisi ne Pocha 3sra kon hy?
Wo buzurg rone Lage
Roty roty hichkiyan agayi or behosh hogaye
Phir hosh aya or batane lage to dubara behosh
hogaye
Phir kafi der bad hosh aya or farmaya
3sra wo jis k Pas pkg ho or Wo phr b Msg Na kare.
Sharam karo begairto apnay zinda honay ka pata dai dia karo

Hospital ka amla Aadmi K
Pich Bhag Raha Tha.

Logon N pocha Kya Hua

Doctr:
4 Bar Aisa Hua

Yeh Dimagh K Opration K
Bhaney Aata Hy
or
TIND Krwa K Bhag Jata Ha.

Ishq krna hai to phir dard bhi sehna seekho,
Warna aisa kro apni oqaat me rehna seekho . . .
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(_”)/
)))
! /_Aj Ghalib ka subha sy B.P high hai. :-

Poem on
“DOST
Oye meray dost,:-)
:-) billi k gosht,:-)
:-) Double ande k toast
, :-) Bujhe hue lamp k post:-)
:-) morgi k rost,:-)
:-) flop show k host,:-)
:-) i miss u most,:-)
:-) my dear dost;):-)

Tumhain Kiya Lagta Hai 'Faraz'

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Mujhay Tau Garmi Lagti Hai :)

Funny Oxymoron's:

(An oxymoron is usually defined as a phrase in which two words of contradictory meaning are brought together)

1) Clearly misunderstood
2) Exact Estimate
3) Small Crowd
4) Act Naturally
5) Found Missing
6) Fully Empty
7) Pretty ugly
8) Seriously funny
9) Only choice
10) Original copies
&
the Mother of all
11) Happily Married

Forgiveness is a funny thing, it warms the hearts and cools the sting.
Peter Allen

Funny Valentine!
Where are you?
How will you come to me?
In a red box, the softness of
A teddy bear or the tenderness of
A kiss?
The security of a hug, the snug warm
Feeling of love?
You seem sooo far away!
I think about you when I close my eyes
And even when I open them in the morning.
It may not be Valentine""s Day everyday
But with you. just know your
My love supply.
My Funny Valentine!

It's funny how big of an impact u hv on me. It's like when I see u, u don't even hv to speak all u can do is smile & it can make my day & that's how I remember my reasons 4 loving u

apno see door theat means that i am older than you you see my friend she is a jerk lari billi hai

ek din doctor ne do pagal ko pagalkhane
se le aya aur isko test kar raha tha key yeh thik hoyae hai key nahi to doctor sahab ne ek ko kaha ke jao mere ghar aur dekho ke mie ghar mie ho to pagal bhagkar doctor ke ghar ke taraf gaye to dosray ne kaha ke yeh pagal hai doctor ne socha ke yeh thik ho gaya hoga to pocha key yeh kyo kaha tum ne pagal ne jawab diya key clinic se phone karne ki jaga woh bhag kar aap key ghar ki taraf gaya doctor ne kaha yeh bhi thik nahi hai

The night was dark, the moon was high,
I stopped my car....u wondered why?
I leant so close, u felt shy.
I uttered those three words....
I ......la.......puncture !!


Friends r like mirrors, they r our reflection.
You r damn lucky I look good !!!!


You = cute
You = hot
You = sweet
You = intelligent
You = amazing
You = perfect
Me = liar.


I have a confession to make, ever since I have known u,
Its kinda hard for me to forget u.
Every night u appear in my dreams, And I find my self shouting.....
BHOOT !!! BHOOT !!!



I look at the stars, the stars r beautiful
Then I look at you......
I ......
I .......
I rather look at the stars again. *****



U r 100% beautiful, u r 100% lucky
u r 100% sweet , u r 100% nice, and u r 100% stupid to believe these words


Good looking people r hard to find.
That-s why u don-t ......
That-s y u don-t see me often.


when u feel sad....
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, ""damn I am really sooo cute"" u will overcome ur sadness.
But don-t make this a habit.....
Coz liars go to hell !!!!

11)
Jassi singh tells his gf, ""come home tomorrow, no one will b at home.""
When she goes the next day to his home....... There was NO ONE at home.



What frustrates the sardarji when his wife delivers twins???
He wonders who is the father of the second child.


WIFE : "" I wish I was a newspaper, so I-d be in ur hands all day.""
HUSBAND : "" I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new one everyday.""

A SARDARJI is in the library , he bangs down a book and says :"" too boring, too many characters and no story"".
LIBRARIAN says : oh! U r the one who took the phone directory away??


God created ME to b ur friend. He picked ME out from all the REST coz he knows I am ....well one of the BEST.
AHEM !! don-t argue with God now.

I was born intelligent
education ruined me.

One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

""Your future depends on your dreams""
So go to sleep

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.

hard work never killed anybody...""
but y take the risk..!
milk is milk n butter is butter if u forget me den jump in the gutter

aik sho ki wife us ki pocket main sa 100 rupees nikall lati hai. S . H . O apni wife sa kehta hai ka tum na meri pocket main se 100 rupees nikalai hain main tum ko iss jurm main ander ker sakta hoon .uss ki wife kehti hai ka 50 rupees tum rakh lo baat ko yahi khatm ker do
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

ak dafa ka zakar ha kay teen doost hoottain hain own main sa ak doost kaytha ha kay main atni garam chayi peata hoo kay chai chola sa otertay ha to main pe latha hoo dosara doost kaytha ha kay main tum sa zada garam chayi pata hoo chayi chola per hi hottai main pe lat5a ho tesra doost kaytha ha kay main tyum sa zada garam chayi peta hoo dono kaythain hain kay kis taran wo kaytha ha kay main chani patay our doud pay kar chola per hi bath jataow ho.

tere husn ke kya tareef karoun? tere bandar jehsa mu, teri baloun ke kye tareef karoun? tere ek ek baal pe joun
lol
funny init

chandni chand se hogi to sitaroon ka kiya ho ga??
mohabbat eik se hogi to hazaroon ga kiya ho ga??
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Tere pyar ka email mere dil ko Lubhataa hai..
Par beech main tere baap ka virus aataa hai!!
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Wo ankh bari pyaari thi jo hum nay usay mari thi..;)
Wo sandle bari bhari thi jo us nay hamay mari thi!!:(
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Un ki gali say guzray,ajab ittefaq tha...
Unho nay phool phanka,gamla bhi saath tha!!..
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Dabbay may dabba dabbay may khargosh..
Nana nay aankh mari nani behosh !!!
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Hathi nay kaha ja kar hathni ki kabar per..
Sadqay jaoo tumhari patli kamar per!!!
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Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai..
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai..
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..!!
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Jis Waqt
Jis waqat Khuda nay tumhe banaya hoga,,
eik suror sa us k dil per chhaya hoga,,
phelay socha hoga tujhe jannat may rakhlay,,
phir usay ZOO ka khayal aaya hoga..!!
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Babul ke duaein laiti ja
ja tujh ko shohar kangal melay
maika he hamaisha yaad aye
susral ma itni daant melay
yaad aye yahan ke murghi tujhay
wahan pay chanay ke daal melay
tu boll ha table tanis ke
ja tujh ko pati foot boll melay
Babul ke duaein laiti ja
ja tujh ko shohar kangal melay
Hey Girls Don--t Mind Ok Just Kidding
If u like This Messafe Then Plz send me any Funny SMS On My Mobile # 1300-8065630

Your friendship is a Blank Cheque for me. It’s an asset not a liability, always a credit not a debit; always a profit not a loss & I hope it--ll never bounce.
if u like this SMS send me on...03004401587

1)Lady drinking COKE a mchar fals in.Lady takes it out,Mchar says,MAA!Lady asks Y u cal meMa?Mchar say main Tri Coke Se Nkla Hon
2)If ever in your life U R very sad & lonely & feel that U have lost every
thing, I will come, Hold your hand, take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where
2 jump From !!!...
3)bottle main pepsi say zyaada....used socks main smell say bhi zyaadaa..adnan
sami main charbi say zyaada...mithai main sweet say zyaada...pakistan main
coruption say zzyaada...
I LOV U
4)I have the I,I have the L,I have the O,I have the V,I have the
E,... so pls can I have U?
5)Har koi pyar ke liye tarapta hai,
Har koi pyar ke liye rota hai,
mere pyar ko galat mat samajna,
pyar to dosti mein bhi hota hai.
6)u r a donkey
d 4 decent
o 4 outclass
n 4 nice
k 4 kind
e 4 excelent
y 4 young
If u like These SMS So Plz Send ME Some Funny SMS On My Mobile0300-8065630

hazaroun larkiyain aise kai har larki pay dum nikle
magar jis larki pay dum niklay woh gher say hi kum niklay

pehle haath me lo,phir sidha karo,phir muh mein lo,or thook lagao,or ander gusao kitna mushkil hai na sui mein dhaga dalna

saaz ke 7 awaz! samandar ke 7 sahil,phool ke 7 khushboo!jism ke 7 rooh!shama ke7 parwana!khushi ke 7 ghum or app ke saath hum

woh wye thy hamare ghar dia bujha ker chal diye................jo tail baqi bacha tha ser per laga ker chal diye...........
phool gulab ka haath se sirak gaya ........
buddhi ne ankh mari budha latak gaya.....
dabbe mein dabba dabbe mein khargosh.......
nana ne ankh mari nani behosh........

mUSHARf has sent five hundred donkeys to attack india. 499 ja chuke hei n mesage miltey hi Squadren join kero

sms nechay hai sms nechay hai our nchay thora our mujhe yaqeen nahi ata key app aik sms kay liye itna neshay gir sakte hain (haha)

Apne deewane par kyu itna zulm dhaate ho,
khwaab mai bhi apne baap ko saath laate ho.


Aayi thi meri qabr pe,
diya bujha kar chal gayi,
baqi bacha tha tail, sar per laga kar chali gayi.


Amir From Saudi Arabia.

Manzil ki taraf badhte raho.
Jo dil kahe usi rah ko chuno,
peeche walon ko age na jaane do
aur jo aage hai unse aage niklo.
Tabhi 1 acche Truck Driver banoge.
if u like this SMS send me on...03004401587

Sardar Ek Baraf Ka Tukra Utha Ker Usey Ghour Se Dekh Raha Tha...
Admi:- Kya Dekh Rahe Ho???
Sardar:- Dekh Raha Hoon Key Yeh Leak Kahan Se Ker Raha Hai

aries_usman@hotmail.com
0345-4651265