joke

Once there were four people
named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was some important work that had to be done,
and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry because of this,
since it was Everybody-s job.

Everybody thought Anybody could do it,
but Nobody understood that Everybody wouldn-t do it,
so it finally ended up with Everybody blaming Somebody as Nobody did what Anybody could have done!

An insect falls into a mug of tea !
Englishman: throws the mug away and walks out.
American: takes the insect out and drinks the tea.
Chinese: eats the insect and throws the tea away.
Israeli: sucks the tea from the insect before throwing the insect
away and drinking the tea.
Pakistani: accuses the Indian of throwing the insect into his tea
and vows to reply in kind.
Indian: accuses Pakistan of helping the insect to infiltrate into the
mug, supplying it with nourishment to continue swimming in the tea,
blames it as a long term ISI operation, terms the insectasanIslamic militant,
then an Afghan mercenary, then a Pakistan army regular and finally a Pakistan SSG
commando in an undercover operation and
presents identity card of the bug to prove that it indeed is a
Pakistan army person in an undercover operation to change the status of LOC, and vows to defend every inch of the mug and every drop of tea.

Question: What is the height of globalisation?

Answer: Princess Diana-s death.

Question: How come? Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was high on Scottish
whisky, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an
American doctor, using Brazilian Medicines! And this is sent to you by an Indian, using Bill
Gates- technology which Bill Gates stole from the Japanese. And you are probably reading
this on one of the IBM clones that use Taiwanese-made chips, and Korean made monitors,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries driven by
Pakistanis, hijacked by Indonesians and finally sold to you by Chinamen!
Isn-t this Globalisation!!!

Lets face it, English is a stupid language.



There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.


We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.


If writers write, how come fingers don-t fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn-t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught, Why didn-t the preacher praught.


If a vegetarian eats vegetables -> What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play -> Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and -> Drive on parkways
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day -> And as cold as hell on another


You have to marvel at the unique lunacy Of a language where a house can burn up as It burns down
And in which you fill in a form By filling it out And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers And it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn-t a race at all)


That is why


When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch -> It starts
But when I wind up this poem -> It ends.

God created the donkey and told him: you will work tireless from sun up to sun down, carrying heavy bags on your back, you-ll eat grass, you will not have intelligence and you will live 50 years. You will be a DONKEY!

The donkey answered: I-ll be a donkey, but living 50 years is too much, give me only 20 years. And God gave him 20 years.

God created the dog and told him: You will look after the man-s house, you will be his best friend, you will eat whatever he gives you and you will live 25 years. You will be a DOG!

The dog answered: God, living 25 years is too much, give only 10. God gave him 10 years.

God created the monkey and told him: You will jump from branch to branch, you will do silly things, you will be amusing and you will live 20 years.

The monkey answered: God, living 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years. And God agreed.

Finally, God created man, and told him: You will be Man, the only rational being on this earth, you will use your intelligence to control other animals, you will dominate the world and you will live for 20 years.

The man answered: God, I-ll be man, but living 20 years is not enough, why don-t you give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 20 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years that the monkey refused.

That was what God did, and since then, Man live 20 years like a man, then he enters adulthood and spends 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying the load on his back, then when his children leave home, spends 15 years like a dog, looking after the house and eating whatever is given to him, then he gets into retirement, and spends 10 years like a monkey, jumping from house to house or from children to children, doing silly things to amuse the grandchildren.

Important Message
GOD wants to send an important message to the world. HE selects 3 VIPs whom HE thinks will cover the majority of the world population. HE selects and invites Jiang Zemin, Clinton and Bill Gates for a dinner. During dinner He told them: ""I need three important people to send my message out to all people. Tomorrow I will destroy the earth.""

Jiang Zemin immediately called together his cabinet and told them: ""I have two really BAD news items for you: 1) God really exists and 2) Tomorrow He will destroy the earth.""

Clinton called an emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them: ""I have good news and bad news: 1) The GOOD news is that God really does exist 2) The BAD news is, tomorrow He is going to destroy the earth.""

Bill Gates went back to Microsoft and very happily announced: ""I have two fantastic announcements: 1) I am one of the three most important people on earth 2) The Year 2000 problem is solved.""

Kiyoon Lambay baal hain bhaalu ke ? Kiyoon uss ki tind kraai nahi?

Kiya -woh- bhi Ganda bacha hay?.. ya uss ke Abbu bhai nahi?

Yeh uss ka -Hair Style- hay?..... ya Jungle main koi Naai nahi?

Ye baat samajh main aai nahi,

Jo Taaray jagmag kartay hain, Kiya unn ki - Chachi Taai- nahi?

Ho ga koi rishta sooraj se? ye baat humain batlaai nahi

Par Chanda kaisa mamoo hay? jab ammi ka woh -bhai- nahi?

Ye baat samajh main aai nahi, Aur Ammi ne samjhaai nahi

Main kesay meethi baat karoon? jab meethi cheeji khai nahi
_______________________

aik aadme aik larke ke paas aata hai or kehta hai ke main ne under ware ki company khli hai main is ki mashoree ke liye koi is taranh ki performancxe chahta hoon jis se yeah mashoorr ho jaye or market main sale hone lage ""larka""aap ki company ka naam kya hai"" ropa under ware ""
woh larka maan jata hai or is kam ko kerne ke liye tiyar ho jata hai ""next day
woh under ware pehan ker bilding per char ker kood perhta hai neechay girta hai to kehta hai ""bund""phat gayee under ware nahin phata:)

LIFE IS NOTHIG BUT JOKE
ITS A BIG JOKE AND NOTHING IS BIG THAN JOKE