Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain!
Gal: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy: Bilkul nahi!
Gal: To phir rehne do...

Saif: My dil goes hmmmmmm...! My dil goes hmmmmmmm....! My dil goes mmmmmmMMm......!! My dil goes mmmmmmm.....!
Javed Jafri: Is this da dils or da makhis...?

What did the Zero say to the Eight?
Nice Belt

A Baniya walking on the road suddenly bent & touched d road n said furiously: 'Loki thuk vi aewein sutde ne jiven Rupeya peya hove!'

Kabhi ye mat socho tumhare gf/bf ya wife/hubby ne tumhe kitna romantic msg bheja hai, sirf yeh socho ke Use kisne bheja hoga ?

Meaning of ABCDEFG : A Boy Can Do Everything For Girls.
Reverse the letters GFEDCBA
Girls Forget Everything Done & Catch new Bakra Again

Ek c Raja...
Ek c Rani...
Dono mar gaye khatam kahani.
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Na thalle hun ki dead body labni hai?

ladka bola:train,bus,aur ladki sab ek jaise hi ek chali jaye toh doosri aajati hi.
ladki boli:auto.riksha ek ladke ek jaise hi ek ko bulayenge toh charo chale aate hi.

Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Is ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.

Kunwaro se log puchte hai ki tumhari ab tak shaadi kyon nahi huye?
Kunware bhi jor se kahte hai: Jaako rakhe sayeean mar sake na koi.

Boy: Ki mein tera hath chum sakda han""
Girl: Kyon Haramjadeya mere bullan te koi kande lagge ne ?

Ladkewaale: Ladki ka naam kya hai?
Ladkiwaale: Hamari pyari, aapki pyaari sabki pyari, Rampyari. Ladke ka naam kya hai.
Ladkewale: Hamara Gu, aapka Gu, ham sabka gu JAGGU

Quid-e-Azam bhi chale gay
Liaqat Ali Khan bhi chal basey
Allama Iqbal bhi rukhsat ho gay
Sar Syyed bhi dunya se kooch kar gay
Ab meri tabiat bhi kuch theek nahi rehti
Pata nahi iss mulk ka kiya bane ga…

Aisa hai pyar humara, main kishti tu kinara, mai dhanush tu teer mai matar tu paneer, mai barish tu badal, mai rajmah tu chawal, mai hot tu cool, main April tu Fool...ha ha ha!!

Today if anyone praises U for ur beauty, nature, style, attitude... kick them... How dare they fool U before APRIL 1st.

Wat a RIP OFF! I saw a book in the store titled: 37 Mating Positions. I took it home, sat in my room,opend it. Damn it...It was a book on CHESS!

Feeling bored? Wondering, what to do? Open the zip! Enter your hands in between your zip... take out your... book from your bag and study!

Someone has kidnapped the Indian cricket team and demanded Rs 50 crore or else he would burn them with kerosene. Please donate. I have already donated 25 litres.

What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion.

What is the height of optimism?
A: Sehwag coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.

What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?
A: 3 runs in 3 balls.

Q: Where do Indian batsmen perform their best?
A: In advertisements.

A good friend comes 2 visit u in the hospital with flowers n goes.
A True friend sits near u n says: O yaar, nurse bahut sunder hai... aaram se theek hona!

ICC has decided to shorten

The duration of next world cup.

It will consist of opening ceremony,

Photo-session and presenting world cup

to AUSTRALIA ...

Roses r red sky r blue
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Roses r red sky r blue
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Kitna b press karo,

Phir b Roses r red sky r blue...

Hurry up.

Fill in the blanks

with ""Haan"" or""Nahi"":

1:____main insaan nahi hoon.

2:____main hi chor hoon.

3:___mera koi ilaaj nahi.

4:____main hi idiot hoon.

Pathan riding a cycle, hits a Girl.
Girl: Ghanti nahin mari jaati kya?
Pathan: ARe Zana na ?!! Poori cycle maar diya Humne,
aab ghanti alag se maaru kya ?

no visits...
no calls...
no sms's...
no letters...
no missed calls...
I'm worried...
R u in jail again?

Teacher: How Old is ur father. Sunny: As old as I m. Tcher: How is it possible? Sunny: He bcom father only after I was born.

Laloo bada chalak hai
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
dasva ane wala he
ye andar ki baat hai
isme Vajpayee ka hath hai

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever

Halchal so machal geya thi Dil mai,
Par tum dekhti hi ho tirchi nazar sa yah sunkar,
Attack aageya hai Dil mai

Akash ke taron main khoya hai jahan sara, lugta hai pyara ik ik tara,in taron main sub se pyara hai ik sitara, jo is waqt per raha hai sms hamara.

Zindagi ki rah main hum dono sath chalain gay.... thora tum chalna, thora main chlun ga,......phir agay chal ker rikshaw kerwa lain gay.

Aap kya jano hum kitna yaad kerte hain, Mano ya na mano her pal feryaad kerte hain, Roz hat likhtain hain cartoon network ko, aur aap ko play kerne ki mang kerte hain.

woh aj bhi hamey dekh ker muskratey hai
woh aj bhi hamey dekh ker muskratey hai
woh tu un key bachey hi kameney hai
jo mujhey mamo mamo bulatey hai

Tumhaara intezaar karte karte, main so gaya, Yeh dekho mera connection time out ho gaya

Parhay likhay hotay ager kartay kaam hakeemon ka
Bahana nabz ka hota pakrtay haath haseenoo ka

Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai , khafa ho humse ya balance kam hai? ha ha ha ha.....

Yaad mein teri aankhe bharta hai koi, har saans ke saath tujhe yaad karta hai koi, maut to sachai hai aani hai, lekin teri judaai mein har roz marta hai koi...!

Jawani ke din chamkile ho gaye, aur husn ke tewar nukile ho gaye
hum izhaar karne me thode dhiile ho gaye, aur unke haath peele ho gaye

Jab Jab hume pyaas lagti hai, Unke aane ki aas lagti hai
unki dewangi mein hum ho gaye itne dewane, Ki har ladki ki maa apni saas lagti hai

Aik Munder main buri neeyat wale gaeb ho jate they.Amitab gya wog gayab, Hirithik gya woh gayab, Akshey gya woh gayab, Ashwariya gai Bhagwan gayab

Woman: Sir , mein apne ladke ka naam kya rakhoon?
Ajit: Iskaa naam Peter rakh do!
Woman: Mera doosra ladkaa bhi hai , jo iskaa twin hai. Mein uskaa naam kya rakhoon?
Ajit: Uskaa naam Repeter rakh do!

Boy to a pretty girl, ajaa dil main aja, Girl: sandel utarun kya? Boy, nahi, wese hi aja, yai masjid yan mundir nahin hai.

Eng Teacher:Make a sentence
using neither-nor ?
Naughty Boy :When girls wear
tight fitting dresses,
Neither r they comfortable Nor r we.

Sher; Phir na jane kon duao mai yaad karta ha, Mai dobta hon samandar uchal deta ha.
perodi;Phir na jane kon gunaaho mai yaad karta hai, Main chup rehta hoon our teacher nikal deta ha.

Arz kya hai: Bahaar aane se pehle fiza aa gayi, ki bahaar aane se pahle fiza aa gayi, aur phool khilne se pahle....bakri kha gayi..

Tum Haste Raho, O Haste Raho, O Haste Raho, O Haste Raho, Muskarate Raho, Sada Khilkhilate Raho, Khush Raho, Mera Kya Hain, Log Tumhe hi! Paagal Kahenge! Ha Ha Ha!

Meri taref se apko 1 ""PuPPI"" Aapki saheli ko 1 ""PAPPI"" Saheli ki saheli ko 1 ""PuPPI"" Batau bhala kiun? Aaj hi mere ""DOggy"" ne 10 ""PuPPI"" ko janam de hai!

Yaad karte hai tumhe tanhi me, Dil duba hai gamo ki gahrai me, Hume mat dhundo duniya ki bhid me, Hum milenge tumhe fir kisi, free SMS ki scheme me!

Dil k dard ko zuba per laate nahi, Hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi, Zakham chahe kitna hi gahre kyo na ho, hmm DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi!

Two snakes sitting in the jungle, Female snake tried to kiss the male snake, Suddenly male snake turned and started singing 'zehar hai ki pyar hai tera chumma'!

After finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna start his practice. He checked 1st patient eyes, tongue & ears by torch & finallly said Bole To.. Torch Theek hai

Khidki se deakho to raste pe koi nahi tha, Khidki se dekha to raste pe koi nahi tha, Raste pe ja ke dekha to khidki pe koinahi tha...

Pathan sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.. When a person askied what he was doing.. He replied.. Oye! higher studies yaar...

Sochta tha har mor per aap ka intezar karenge.. per, per, per, per, per, per, per, per, per, kambhakat sadak hi sidhi nikli.

WHO YOU ARE

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

We will now upgrade your brain, please wait....Searching....searching...still searching....sorry,NO BRAIN found...!

Kya leker aaye the, kya leker jaoge
mujhe sms nahi karke kitne paise bachaoge,
Itne paise bachaker,
kya jannat mein bangla banaoge...

Chahta hoo tujhe pyar doo
dost par apni jindagi waar doo
jab tera message nahi milta to
dil karta hai tere mobile me goli maar doooo…

Arz kiya hai...
Agar aap mahila hain to 1 sms karen,
agar purush hai to 2 sms karen,
Aur in mein se kuch bhi nahi hai to kuch na karen,
hum samajh jaenge,Within 1 min...

Newtons Law of Romance
LOVE CAN NEITHER BE CREATED NOR BE DESTROYED,
IT CAN ONLY BE CHANGED
FROM ONE GIRL FRIEND TO ANOTHER...

Newtons 3rd Law of Ishq
a boy in love with a girl,
continue to be in love with her and
a girl in love with a boy,
continue to be in love with him,
untill on unless any external agent
(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy.

Newtons 2nd law of ishq
The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl
towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous
bank balance of the boy and the direction of
this love is same to as increament or decreament of
the bank balance.

Newtons First Law of ishq
The force applied while proposing a girl
By a boy is equal and opposite to
The force applied by the girl while using her sandals...

Usne kaha balance bhijwao
Maine kaha ""Paise Nahi""
Usne kaha ""Kaise nahi""
Maine kaha ""Mehangai Hai""
Usne kaha ""Ja aaj se tu mera bhai hai""

aik larka aik larki ko window se ishara kr k kehta hai
jahalk jhalak dikhla ja
jhalak jhalak dikhla ja
larki hath mein joota pakar k kehti hai
aik baar aja aja aja aaaa ja

Wife:Kia Ker Rahey Ho?
Husband: Makhiyan Maar Raha Hoom.
Wife: Kitni Mari?
Husband: 3Males 2Females
Wife:Kese Maloom?
Husband:Kyun K 3 Daaru Ki Bottle Se Chipki Thein Or 2 Phone Pe.

Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kush na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii

2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.

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Very Good!
Intelligent Ho!
Kal A B CD sikhenge...

Come here, take off urs pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied, loving urs.....toilet!

CONGRATS.Your phone has been installed with a new puzzle game. To play,throw your phone against the wall.Then assemble the pieces...

Shehar Ki Gali Mein Paan Ki Dukan, Devdas ne Dekhi Paro Ki Muskan, Devdas ne Khilaya Paro ko Paan, Khake Paan Paro Boli ""Shukriya BhaiJaan""

Bahut dur rah kar bhi pass lagte ho,
najaro se door aur rahakar bhi khas lagte ho,
dusro ke diye SMS karte ho,
phir bhi smart lagte ho....

Woh kahte hain ki hamari biwi swarg ki Apsara hai,
hum ne kaha khushnaseeb ho bhai,
hamari to abhi Jinda hai... ha ha ha

mulk ki bhi 1 sarhad hoti hai,
bachay ki bhi 1 zid hoti hai
or kitna intezar karoon tere sms ka
arey yaar kanjoosi ki bhi koi hudddd hoti hai.

Kya leke aye they,
Kya lekar jaoge,
Mujhe SMS na karke,
Zalim kitne Paise Bachaoge!

Allah ke naam pe,
maula ke naam pe,
Tere biwi bacchon ke naam pe,
Koi mere is msg parne wale dost ko paise dedo,
yeh mujhe msg nahi karta.

Kabhi honsla bhi aazmaana chahiye, bure waqt mein muskurana chahiye, jab 10 dino mein khujli na mite, to 11 ve din nahana chahiye.

Devdas ke babu ji ne kaha ghar chhod do, uski ma ne kaha paro ko chhod do, paro ne kaha daru chhod do, lekin aapko kisne kaha - SMS karna chod do

Pathar se dosti, Jan ko khatra.Pathan se dosti, Demagh ko khatra. Daru say dosti,Liver ko khatra.Hum say dosti, rat be rat SMS ka khatra!!

waisay tu tum mujh ko AZIZ ho halan k tum kya CHEEZ ho nakhray tu tum aisay karte ho, jaisay k tum Shaukat Aziz ho
hahhahahah

Munna Bhai: a Circut bapu bole to gandhi ji kapre kyoin nahi pehnte the?
Circut: bhai bole to bapu bhi us time ke salman khan the

Thappar mar kar naraz wife sey husband bola...aadmi ussey marta hai jis sey pyar hota hai...2 thappar mar kar wife boli, ap kia samjhtey hain k ma ap se pyar nahi karti????

HAR GALI HAR DEEWAR PAR TERA NAAM LIKHA HAI...HAR GALI HAR DEEWAR PAR TERA NAAM LIKHA HAI...UPPAR WANTED AUR NICHEY INAAM LIKHA HAI... HAHAHAHA

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

Majnu ko laila ka SMS nahin aaya
Majnu ne 2 din se khana nahin khaya
Majnu pagal ho raha he laila k pyar mein
Laila bethi hai SMS free hone k INTZAR mein

Ap ne roz humse nai umeed laga rakhi hai,
apne dil me asha ki KIRAN jaga rakhi hai,
hum roz kahan se naye msgs bhejen,
hum ne kya sms ki factory laga rakhi hai.

kanjoos ki zindagi kya jeena..
kabhi humari tarah bhi jiya karo..
roz mere sms padh kar sharam nahi aati..
kabhi khud bhi sms kiya karo..

Aapke haath me mobile hai
Chehere pe sundar c smile hai
SMS ki achi khasi File hai
Phir b SMS nahi karte
yaar, yeh konsa stupid style hai?

Na ye Chand hoga na tare rehenge,
Kia hum hamesha kunware rahenge,
Is duniya main sab k Nikha Allha Allha,
Kia naseeb main apne Choharay rehenge,

I m getting married next month.... its small party and only few people will be invited... dont bring any gift.....just bring someone who will marry me.

CONGRATS.Your phone has been installed with a new puzzle game. To play,throw your phone against the wall.Then assemble the pieces....

Chandani ne
Kaha ke tu pyar kar...
Shama ne kaha
aankhen char kar...
Gori ko cheda to
boli muskarakar..
Abhi tu nadaan hai
kuch intezar kar...!

Aaj kal maan kar
raha hai ki main

tumhe

kabhi bhi mauka
dekh kar
sabke samne
ek
k
ki
kis
kiss
kissa sunau
Kahani ka

Mere mobile ka accident ho gaya hai,
aur Dr ne kaha hai ki khoob sare SMS ki
botle chadani padegi,
so Please donate SMS, its URGENT....

Kya kar rahe ho?
Busy ho?
Kitne busy ho?
Thode ho? ki
bahut ho?
Agar thoda
ho to
sms kyo nahi karte ho? aur
agar zyada ho to,
sms kyo padh rahe ho??

Bill Gates was in India a few days ago.
He announced that Microsoft plans to release a windows version in Hindi.
Here are some Windows related terms that may be used in the Hindi version of...
Khidkiyan97:
Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save as
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Daak = Mail
Daakiya = Mailer
Paas se dhekho = Zoom
Duur se dhekho = Zoom Out
Kholo = Open
Bandh Karo = Close
Naya = New
Khatara = Old
Badli Karo = Replace
Bhaago = Run
Chhaapo = Print
Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview
Kaapi = Copy
Kaato = Cut
Kato = Stupid Houseguest
Chipkao = Paste
Payshul Chipkao = Paste Special
Goli Maaro = Delete
Nazaara = View
Hathiyaar = Tools
Hathiyaar Khambha = Toolbar
Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
Iska Bhi Naam Nahin Aata = Database
Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit
Ped = Tree
Thooso = Compress
Chooha = mouse
Tik-Tik Karo = Click
Idhar-se-Udhar.Udhar-se-Idhar = Scrollbar
Cheers !

A GOAT WAS LOCKED IN A ROOM,THE ROOM SMELLED VERY BAD.ONE DAY THREE MEN CAME THERE ONE WAS SIKH SECOND ONE WAS PHATAN
AND THE LAST ONE WAS ENGLIS MAN.WHAN THEY KNEW THAT THE GOAT-S ROOM SMELLED VERY BAD, THEN THEY BETTED THAT ONE WHO STAYED LONG TIME IN ROOM WILL GET $50.FIRST THE ENGLISH MAN WENT AND STAYED ONLY FOR 5 SECOND. THEN THE PATHAN WENT IN AND STAYED FOR A MINUTE NOW WENT THE SIKH AND DID NOT CAME OUT. THE PATHAN AND ENGLISH WENT IN AND SAW THAT THE GOAT HAVE RAN AWAY.

what do you call a lonely banana?

A KHELA!! HAHAHAH YEAH IM FUNNY

AHMED SAID TO SAQLAIN
ARE YOU FORRGOT YOUR PASSWARD?
NO.I FORRGOT MY LOGIN NAME,SAID SAQLAIN
TO AHMED

apno see door theat means that i am older than you you see my friend she is a jerk lari billi hai

kiss kiss ney kiss kiss ko kiss kiss jaga kiss kiss terhan kiss kiya

son, dad can you read with out light
father yes son please read my report book and signature on it.

1ST BOY= WHAT R U STUDYING FOR?
2ND BOY= FOR MY BLOOD TEST. (LOL)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

a day karfeu and one man is slliping in out of his house .the police man and say the man ,tumhe pathaa nahi hai ka karfeu lagii hove hai chaloo jaldii tayaar ho jao thaane jhana hai oao admee andar giya our nahi nikla police na ghanti maree our kha bhaai jaaldi nekhloo thaane jahna hai aadmee na jawaab dia ka baher karfeu hai main nahi nekaltha.hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. made by tariqkamal78