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Wife: I've got a lot of things I want to talk to you about...

Husband: Good. I'm glad to hear it. Usually you want to talk to me about a lot of things you haven't got!

In an African Safari, a Lion suddenly pounced on Santa's wife.

Jeeto: Shoot him!

Santa: Just a second, let me change the battery of my camera.

Banta: Y did u buy ur wife a huge diamond ring for her B'day? I thought she wanted a car.

Santa: She did, but where in the world was I going to find a fake car?

Wife: Darling, kuch aisi baat karo ki mai khush ho jaun aur jal bhi jaun.

Husband: Jaan tum meri Zindagi ho aur... aur... aur Laanat hai aisi zindagi pe.

Wife: Don't you have simple manners. I have been speaking for hours and you keep on yawning.

Husband: I'm not yawning... I'm simply trying to say something!

Two theories to argue with wife :

1. If she is right then be fair to her & keep quiet.

2. If she is wrong then be kind to yourself & keep quiet!

"Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?" Jeeto said looking lovingly into her husband's eyes.

Santa: I don't know, but I promise I'll never do it again!

Santa to psychologist, "My wife treats me like a dog!"

Psychologist: Does she abuse, hit or starve you?

Santa: No No... It's a worse! She wants me to be faithful!

A wife is often referred to as the man's better half - which is why husbands often tell them the better half-truths!