Marriage

You don't marry one person, you marry three:

The person you think they are;

The person they are;

And the person they are going to become as a result of being married to you!

Everytime I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife somehow finds it out!

I used to think that I wasn't scared of anything until

.

..

...

I saw my wife reversing my new car!

Dear Ladies,

If your man says he'll fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it!

What is the difference between welding and wedding?

In welding, there are sparks first and bonding later;

Whereas in wedding, there is bonding first and sparks later!

Wife: I think...

Husband: Exactly!

Wife: But I haven't said anything yet!

Husband: Doesn't matter... You're right!

Wife: I've got a lot of things I want to talk to you about...

Husband: Good. I'm glad to hear it. Usually you want to talk to me about a lot of things you haven't got!

If you are happy even after your marriage, you haven't taken your marriage seriously!

When husband breaks a glass.

Wife: Break everything. Break all these bottles... break the kitchen... break the house... just break everything!

And when wife breaks a glass.

Wife: Who kept this glass here?

Two soldiers were having a chat during their free time.

1st Soldier: Why did you join the army?

2nd Soldier: I didn't have a wife and I loved war. So I joined. How about you? Why did you join the army?

1st Soldier: I joined because I had a wife and I loved peace!