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What did Adam say on 24 December?

It's Christmas, Eve!

Merry Christmas!

Let me know if I say anything that offends you, I might want to offend you again later!

Lawyer: You say you're divorcing your husband for health reasons?

Woman: Yes, I'm sick of him!

What's the kindest thing you can say about egotists?

At least they don't talk about other people!

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

~ Groucho Marx

Good Day!

Maths Teacher to Pappu, "If both of your parents were born in 1969, how old would they say they are now?"

Pappu: That depends.

Teacher: Depends on what?

Pappu: Whether you're asking my father or my mother!

Caller: Hello, Roshni hai?


Listener: Nahi.


Caller: Toh, Saale - candle jala!

They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true. As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.