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It's crazy how quickly people can forget about you, until they want something from you.

I digest everything I swallow;

But if I drink water, I'll die.


Guess what is it ?

Earth may stop rotating;

Birds may stop flying;

Candles may stop melting;

And hearts may stop beating.

But your brain will never start working. 'April Fool Day' was meant just for people like U!

I used to think that I wasn't scared of anything until

.

..

...

I saw my wife reversing my new car!

The same girls who are dying to have a Valentine are the same girls who'll be dying to be single on the eve of spring break.

Santa: A fat woman just served me at McDonald's earlier. She said, "Sorry about the wait."

Banta: Hmmm...

Santa: I said, "Don't worry, you'll lose that eventually!"

You should do two things in the morning- 1) Pray to God so you can live and 2) have a shower so others can live.

I love it when I catch you looking at me then you smile and look away.

Wake up every morning with the thought that something wonderful is about to happen.

Good Morning!