Miscellaneous

There was an Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived
in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English,but managed
to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she
had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted
to buy pork legs. She didn-t know how to put forward her request, and in
desperation,she lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got
the message and the lady went home with pork legs. The next day, she
needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn-t know how to say, and so
she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher what she wanted. The lady
got what she wanted. The third day, the poor lady needed to buy some
bananas.So she brought her husband to the store..............

what did she do?

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What were you thinking? ? HellOOOOOOOOOOOO,

Her husband speaks English....

aik mian biwi ja rahay hotay hain kay rastay mein mian ko apni aik purani girl friend mil jati hay woh us ka taruf(intoduction) karatay howay apni biwi ko kahat hain ""hum donoo baray achay dost thay sath uthtay bethtay sathh sath khatay peetay aur sath mein sootay thay"" yeh sun kar biwi ghussay mein ajja ti hay to mian kahtay hain ""han sath sotay thay maggar economics ki class mein ""

ek kanjos tha jis ko phansi ki saza hone wali thi or us ko police wale ne bataya ke thumain phansi dene main sarkar ko panch hazar kharch karne honge itne main us kanjos ne chekh mari or police wale se bola ke do hazar mujhe do main apne ap ko khud marta hoon .

musliam aur sikhoun ki jang hoti hai, muslim souchtey hian k sikhoun main Raam Singh buhat hotey hain , kioon na inn ka naam oonchi aawaz main pukarein aur wo kharey ho k jawab dein gey..aik muslaman aawaz lagata hai.. Raam singh ( aik sikh khara ho k bolta hai ( AAHO),, muslim ussey goli maar detey hain THAAAAAAA) doosri baar bhee issi tarha aawaz lagatey hain Raam Singh aagey se jawab aata hai (AAHO) usse bhee goli maar detey hain THAAAAAAA.. aur yeah silsila jari rehta hai. buhat se sikh marr jatey hain. aakhir kaar sikh souchtey hain k muslims main ALLAH RAKHEY buhat hotey hain .. hum yahi formula unn par apply kartey hain. sikh aawaz lagata hai bola (ALLAH RAKHA) aagey se aawaz aai ( CHUTTI PAR HAI ...TU KOUN RAAM SIGH) wo khara ho k bola (AAHO) goli maar di THAAAAAA

America needle banata hai
aur is kay baad woh needle main shine kay liyee China ko deta hai,China shine kay baad needle main hole karnay kay liye Japan ko deta hai,Japan hole kernay kay baad is ko sharp karnay kay liyee India ko deta hai,abh jab keh sarey mulk bari bari kaam kertay hain tu sab soochtay hain kyon na Pakistan say bhi kaam liya jayee, abh india sharp ker kay pakistan ko deta hai Pakistan kehta hai kay sarey kaam tu ho gayay abh main kiya keron tu Pakistan is per yeh lekh deta hai""MADE IN PAKISTAN""

AAP KO YEH TO PATA HO GA KAH JO LOOG OLD HOTAY HAIN AUR BIMMAR BHI HOTAY HAIN TO CHIRCHARAY MIZAJ KAY HOTAY HAIN ISSI TARHAN AIK ADMI JATA AIK BORHAY ADMI KO POCHNAY TO WOH GHAR SAY SOCH KAR JATA HAI KAH 3 BATAIN POCHOON GA TAKKAY WOH BHI TANG NA HO...1-PEHLI BAAT YEH POCHOON GA KAH AB TABBIYAT KAISI HAI TO WOH KAHAY GA KAH AB KAFI THEEK HAI TO MAIN KAHON GA KAH CHALLO ALLAH KA SHUKKAR HAI...2-PHIR POCHOON GA KAH AAP KIS DOCTOR KAY SAY CHECK UP KARWATAY HO TO WOH KISSI BHI DOCTOR KA NAAM LAY GA TO KAHON GA KAH HAAN MERAY BAAP NAY BHI USSI SAY CHECK UP KARWAYA THA...3-PHIR POCHOON GA KAH AAJ KAL FOOD KON SI KHAA RAHAY HO TO WOH JO CHEEZ BHI BATAYE GA TO KAHOON GA KAH THEEK HAI THANDA HOTA HAI TAKATWAR HOTA HAI.AB YEH BATAIN WOH SOCH KAR CHAL PARTA HAI...AGAY US BORHAY ADMI KAY PAAS JATA HAI SALAM KARTA HAI WOH WASSALAM KAHTA HAI TO POCHTA HAI KAH BABA JI KIA HAAL HAI AB...WOH JAWAB DAYTA HAI KAH AB TO BETA QABAR KI TARAF TANGAIN(legs)HAIN...TO WOH KAHTA HAI KAH CHALLO ALLAH KA SHUKKAR HAI...PHIR POCHTA HAI KAH CHECK UP KON SAY DOCTOR SAY KARWA RAHAY HAIN TO WOH KAHTA HAI KAH BETA AB CHECK UP KIA KARWANA AP KO MARNAY KO TIME AA GAYA HAI AP TO EZRAEEL(aik farishtay ka naam)HI DAWA DARO KAR RAHA HAI TO WOH KAHTA HAI HAAN HAAN THEEK HAI MARAY BAAP NAY BHI USSI SAY KARWAYA THA...AB WOH 3RD QUESTION POCHTA HAI KAH AAJ KAL GIZZA(food)KON SI KHAA RAHAY HAIN TO WOH BORHA ADMI TANG AA JATA HAI US KAY IN QUESTIONS SAY TO WOH BORHAA ADMI TANG AA KAR KAHTA HAI KAH KHOTAY(donkey)KA LUN KHAA RAH HON TO WOH ADDMI KAHTA HAI KAH HAAN HAAN THEEK HAI THANDA HOTA HAI AUR TAKATWAR BHI HOTA HAI....HA HA HA HA HA

aik bucha doosray say kehta hai ""tum gunday buchay ho"".woh jawaab daita hai ""tum khud ho gay""

ik shaks ne apney dost se kha. ""kion bhai tum ne ganey ki practice kion chor di"".
dost:""apney galey ki wajah se"" dost ne aah bher ker kha.
doosra dost:""kion bhai tumharey galey ko kia hua"" is shaks ne heret se poocha.
dost ne afsurdah ho ker javab dia:
""kuch nehi bas hamsaioon (naibhours) ne dubaney ki dhamki di he"".

Aik dafa aik aurat apnay boyfreind kay sath kamray mein masroof hoti hai. achanak uska husband bahir darwaze par knock karta hai. wo jaldi se boyfriend ko almari mein chuppa deti hai. jab shohar andar ata hai aur larkay ke jutay dekhta hai tau poochta hai yeh kis key hain, wo kehti hai abhi pichli eid par mere ghar walon ne aap ko gift kia tha. wo maan jata hai. phir wo poochta hai yeh kurta kis ka hai, wo kehti yeh mein ne aap ko dia tha. wo kehta hai chalo theek hai marey liye chai (tea) bana kar lao. wo jab jati hai tou yeh apna coat latkanay ke liya almari kholta hai aur larka usi nangi halat mein khara hota hai. yeh us se poochta hai tum kahan khare ho, wo kehta hai ""BUS STOP par"". yeh kehta hai ye bus stop hai ya mera ghar. wo kehta hai dou batein biwi ki maan leen hain aik meri maan lo