Jokes

first of all i have to tell you that its not an ordnery joke !! it can kill you realy belive me i m telling the truth . what u say you dont belive ok then i will dont learn it to you cuz i dont tell things to the people who dont hold there belive in me .......

fankar shoher nay apnay ghar per biwi se poocha kia sunanana pasand karo gi?
kuch bhi suna do maqsad to parosion ko ghusa dilana hai biwi nay jawab diya.

eak dafa eak larka apnay dada ko viagra la kar deta hay our kehta hay kay is kay 1000 rupeay houn gay dusay din us ko apnay takeay ka nechay say 5000 rupeay miltay hein our who dada ko kehta hay kay app nay takeay kay nechay kitnay rupes rakhy thay to dada nay kaha mein ney to 1000 rakhy they tumhari dadi neiy 4000 our rakh deay apni taraf say.

ek faqeer bheek mang raha hota hay ek gher kay samnay say guzerta hay to waha per bucha betha hota hay woh kheta hay ke ek rupea de de bucha .bucha kheta hay baba maaf karo .woh kheta hay acha panee hee dede woh kheta hay dafa hojao may tumharay lyee under panee leney jao ? woh uglay din ata hay to bucha us ko peqedleta hay kay baba sherbet pyo gay .woh kheta hay han .woh us ko teen glass panee plata hay .faqeer kheta hay k tum nay mujhay us din panee bhee nahee playa ajj sherbet pla rahay ho kya baat hay? woh kheta hay ajj sherbet may chooa geer gya tha is lye tumhay playa..hay ...faqeer ghusay may pyala tod deta hay bucha rota hay k mera kuta kis may doodh pyee ga...........

A man is walking on the road carrying two babies in his arms when an old lady stops him and says
-HEY, ARE THESE CUTE BABIES YOURS?-
the man replies.......
-NO, ACTUALLY I AM A SALES MAN IN A CONDOM FACTORY AND THESE ARE TWO COMPLAINTS I AM TALKING BACK-

EK AADMI BOHAT HI NIKAMMA HOTA HAI EK DIN WO APNE MOHALLE MAIN CHARPAI BICHA KER BETH JATA HAI AUR HAR AANE JANE WALI KHATOON KO DEKHTA REHTA HAI MOHALLE KI KHAWATEEN ISS PER BOHAT PRESHAAN HO JATI HAIN KUCH DIN K BAAD SAB MIL KER US K PAAS JATI HAIN AUR KEHTI HAIN K ( OYE NIKAMME JAHIL )YE TU NE KIYA KAAM PAKAR KIYA HAI JA JA K KOI KAAM KAR TO WO PANJABI MAIN KEHTA HAI .. APNE APNE PARAO DI BEHNO TUSI KENDHI HO TE THEEK HAI MAIN KAM KAR LENA AAN PER TUSI HUN KOI KAAM V BATA DO ... KHAWATEEN KEHTI HAIN K JAO JANG KA MAHOL HAI JA K ARMY MAIN BHARTI HO JAO TO WO KEHTA HAI K THEEK HAI MAI JATA HOON JAOON GA TE GALLAAN 2 HI NE YA TE WO MENNU RAKH LAN GAY YA KAD DAIN GAY J TE KAD DITTA TE FAIR TE THEEK HAI J RAKH LITTA TE GALLAN 2 HI NE YA TE WO MENNU AGLAY MORCHAIYAN TE BHEJH DAIN GAY YA PECHLE TE... JAY TE PECHLE MORCHAY TE BHEJYA TE FAIR TE THEEK HAI J AGLAY TE BHAJYEYA TE GALLAN 2 HOI NE YA TE MAIN LADTE LATE SHAHEED HO JAOON GA YA GHAZI HO JAOON GA ... JE TE GHAZI HO GAYA TE FAIR TE THEEK HAI TE J MAIN SHAHEED HO GAYA TE FAIFR MAIN AATHE HI THEEK AAAN..........

ik dafa ik bacha apni maan se kehta haike maan main bathroom ja raha hon jab programme kaisa aye to mughe aawaaz de dijai ga suddenly bache ka pait garbar karne lagta hai actually is ko loos motion start ho jata hai aur is waqut programme kaisa start ho jata hai maan kehti hai ke beta kaisa aaraha hai to beta kehta hai ke maan patla patla patla .......

READ IT ALL not really funny but something good ........

Letter :
KYA KEHNA the first time I saw you, I asked my self
HUM APKE HAI KAUN, feeling that KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI so
I decided to forward you a PUKAR from DIL SE. I
thought that by the way HUM TO MOHABBAT KAREGA.so with
my DIL TO PAGAL HAI, I dream to be your HERO No.1 and
I-ll make you my BIWI No.1. You might think that I am
fooling you as BADAL but remember JHOOT BOLE KAWA
KATE. Please JANAM SAMJA KARO that PYAAR KOHI KHEL
NAHIN and I admit that DIL DE CHUKE SANAM. I trust AAP
MERE HAI SANAM. I believe that HUM APKE DIL MEIN REHTE
HAIN for HAMESHA. Remember JAB PYAR KISSI SE HOTA HAI
why not AA ABH LAUT CHALEIN and you can come SAAJAN KI
BAHON MEI. There is SIRF TUM in my life. If you say YES BOSS, then I will become your JORU KA GULAM. Don-t
worry be happy, DHOLI SAJA KE RAKHNA because DILWALE
DULHANIYA LE JAYENGE.
KAHO NA PYAR HAI, MERE SANAM.

Yours Sincerely,

deewana,Mustana, hope u liked hihi bye_shye ~be~Safe

Three guys are having a relaxing day of fishing. Out of the

blue, they catch a mermaid -- who begs to be set free, in
return for granting each of them a wish.
One of the guys just doesn-t believe it, and says, ""Okay,
if
you can really grant wishes, then double my I.Q.""
The mermaid says, ""Done.""
Suddenly, the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly,
and
analyzing what he-s recited with great insight.
The second guy is so amazed he says to the mermaid, ""Triple

my I.Q."" The mermaid says, ""Done.""
The guy starts to spout solutions to problems that have
been
stumping all the great scientists of the world: the
mathematicians, physicists, chemists, and so on.
The last guy is so enthralled with the changes in his
friends
that he says to the mermaid, ""Quintuple my I.Q.""
The mermaid looks at him and says, ""You know, I normally
don-t try to change people-s minds when they make a wish,
but
I really think you should reconsider.""
The guy says, ""Nope, I want you to multiply my I.Q. times
five, and if you don-t do it, I won-t set you free.""
""Please,"" the mermaid says, ""you don-t know what you-re
asking! It-ll change your entire view on the universe.
Won-t you ask for something else, a million dollars, anything?""
But
no matter what the mermaid says, the guy insists on having
his I.Q. increased to five times its usual power.
Finally, the mermaid sighs and says, ""Done.""
And he turns into a woman. hihiihi*_____ dont foget to make ur wish hihi be_safe ~bte*Shye~