Insults

Sarcasm, because backslapping and stabbing the shit out of people is illegal.

Whenever someone calls me ugly;
I get super sad and hug them;
Because I know how hard life must be for the visually impaired.

I might look calm, but in my head I've killed you three times.

I got 99 problems. You're 98 of them.

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand and put it over your mouth!

I was doing just fine before you came; but I think I'll be fine now that you're gone.

Your face is like a cloud. Once it goes away, my day gets a whole lot better.

Hey friend,

Remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom and without ugliness there can be no beauty.

So the world needs you, after all!

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter!

Let it be very clear to you - the only asshole I want in my life is the one that I sit on!