Once an ugly young lady came to a pretty
man. She said,"" I will put poison in your drink.If u would be my wife I would
drink it.

NOW A DAYS U SEE, INTERNET IS EVERY WHERE, AND VERY SMALL CHILDREN ALSO USE IT.
SO 1 DAY, A BOY FELT REALLY LIKE DRINKING A CUP OF TEA,AND HE WAS TIRED TOO ON THE OTHER HAND.SO INSTEAD OF GOING STRAIGHT AWAY TO HIS MOM, HE MAILED HER.WHICH WENT LIKE THIS:
""Mom,please can u bring me a cup of coffee?""
THE CLEVER MOM MAILED HIM BACK, WHICH WENT LIKE THIS:
""My son, I have mailed u the tea, download it & drink it""

once 3 freinds gather ,in a hotel & order for khichdi & asli ghee;a big plate of khichdi with a dipression in the center of khichdi filled with ghee!!!each one wanted to have more ghee
so 1 of them makes a line from the dipression tohis side in such way that ghee started flowing to his sidesaying that there will be 1 line of good people
onthe dooms day,the second friend makes 2 lines saying that there will be 2 lines 1 of good &1 of bad!the ghee started flowing to his side of the plate
through 2lines! the third friend knew not what to do? he mixed the whole ghee here & there& said,"" aisa kuch nahin hoga us din sab taraf afra tafri ka aalam hoga!sying he mixes ghee here & there!!!!!!!!!!

Knock Knock
Who-s there?
Cuppa
Cuppa who?
Would you like a cuppa tea

A man decided to buy a new telescope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, ""This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill"".

The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.

""What-s so funny?"" asks the clerk.

""I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house"", the man replies.

The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, ""Here are two bullets, I-ll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife-s head off and shoot the guy-s dick off.""

The man takes another look through the scope, and says, ""You know what? I think I can do that with one shot.""

The Ecuadorian captain had grown increasingly anxious over rumors of an impending air strike from neighboring Peru. ""Pedro,"" he ordered his aide-de-camp, ""I want you to climb that mountain and report any signs of Peruvian military activity.""

""Si, Capitano,"" replied Pedro. He trudged up the mountain, and as soon as he crossed the ridge he saw a squadron of planes heading their way.

""There are many planes coming, Capitano,"" he promptly radioed back.

""Friends or enemies?"" the Captain demanded urgently.

Pedro again lifted his binoculars to the sky. ""They-re flying very closely together, Capitano,"" he replied. ""I think they must be friends.""

Sadie-s husband Jake has been slipping in and out of a coma
for several months, yet his faithful wife stays by his
bedside day and night. One night, Jake comes to and motions
for her to come closer. He says, ""My Sadie, you have been
with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you
were there to support me. When my business failed, you were
there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the
house, you gave me support. When my health started failing,
you were still by my side. You know what, Sadie?""
""What dear?"" she asked gently.
""I think you-re bad luck.""

A young man was walking along the beach
barefooted, when he hit something really
hard with his toe. He bent down to examine
it closer and found out it was a bottle.
He rubbed the bottle and out popped a
beautiful genie, who said, ""You have been
granted 3 wishes.""

The young man said, ""I would like to have
40 million dollars."" The genie handed him
a deposit slip from a Swiss bank with $40
million dollars in the account.

""What is your second wish, Master?"" the
genie asked.

""I would like to have a red Cadillac
convertible."" Poof - there was the car
parked beside him.

""And for your final wish?"", she asked.

""For my third wish,"" the young man replied,
""I would like to be irresistible to women.""
And he turned into a box of chocolates!

A man died and his wife phoned the newspaper to place an
obituary. She called the obituary department and said, ""This
is what I want to print: Bernie is dead.""
The man at the newspaper said, ""But for $25 you are
allowed to print six words.""
The woman answered, ""OK. Then print: Bernie is dead.
Toyota for sale.""