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I might look calm, but in my head I've killed you three times.

People like to bring up your past when your present and future look better than theirs.

Good Morning!

Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

Throw away the outside and cook the inside, then eat the outside and throw away the inside. What is it?

A true friend is not like the rain which pours and goes away. A true friend is like air... sometimes silent but always around you!

Santa bought a car on loan... He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.

Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!

Your face is like a cloud. Once it goes away, my day gets a whole lot better.

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