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Pathan:Kal Raat Mene 3 Ghnte Ki 1 English Film DeKhi..............
Us M Na Koi Bnda Ta,
Na Koi Awaz..

Friend:Film Ka Nam kYa Ta?
Phtan :
''PLEASE INSERT DISC "

Barish ko english mei Rain kahte hain,
kisi ke lia ye Dil tarpe usey Baichain kahte hain,
jise Aap jaisa pyara Dost milay
us se sab JEALOUSY karte hain.

U know what is the largest word in english language.
""SmileS"" bcoz there is mile between two ""S"". (S mile S).
So spread smiles everywhere.

(Please skip this if you don-t understand Hindi Language)

Bholaji is the english teacher in a school. He is very well renowned for all his students do very well in exams. The school is having an inspection and the inspector decided to visit the english class.This is what transpires :

Bholaji : ""Bolo bachon GADHA""
Students (in chorous) : ""GADHA ""

Bholaji : ""Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA""
Students (in chorous) : ""GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA""

Bholaji : ""Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN""
Students (in chorous) : ""GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MEIN""

Bholaji : ""Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN, MERE PECHE SAARA DESH""
Students (in chorous) : ""GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH""

By this time the inspector is furious. He confronts the principal and shouts at him ""What is this Bholaji teaching his students. He is supposed to be taking an english class and what he is saying is GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH.

The principal too is shocked, the famous english teacher doing this.
Principal : ""Bholaji what nonsense are you telling these students ""GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"".
Bholaji : ""Yes i was telling all this in class, but i was only teaching the students the spelling of ASSASSINATION. ASS - ASS - I - NATION (GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH)

A sardarji was in new york first time he thought he is good in english . at lunch in resturant he saw an other sardarji as a waiter speaking english .
he call him and said bring me some head and foots(sri pai) the other sardar lol on him and said ohhh good english translate (sadar bazar main golian chal rahee thi) sardar ji who was new lol on him too and said its easy...
Tablets were walking in the presdent bazaar)

TEEN DOOST BETHE SHARAB PEE RAHE HTE HEN UN MEN SE AIK PAKISTANEE HOTA HE AIK INDIAN OR AIK ANGRAIZ.TEENOON SAUDEE ARAB MEN HOTEE HEN. AIK DAFA TEENOON SHARAB PEE RAHE HOTEE HEN OR UN KO POLICE PAKER KER LE JATEE HE.UN KO 40 KOROON KEE SAZA SUNAYEE JATEE HE.
JAB WOH ANGRAIZ KO KOREE MARNE LAGTE HEN TO UN SE KEHTE HEN KEH APNEE KHREE KOAHISH BATAO. WOH KEHTA HE KEH MEREE KOAHISH HE KEH MEREE KAMER PER 1 TAKYA RAKH DO.WOH ISIS TARHA KERTE HEN OR PHIR KORE MARTE HEN LEKIN PHIR BHEE US KO BOHAT TAKLEEF HOTEE HE.
US KE BADD INDIAN KEE BAREE ATEE HE US SE BHEE US KEE AKHREE KOAHISH POOCHTE HEN WOH SOCHTA HE KEH ANGRAIZ NE AIK TAKYYA RAHKWAYA THA TO TAKLEEF HOYEE THEE MEN 2 RAKHWA DETA HOON. WOH YAHEE BATA HE US KEE KAMER PER DO TAKYE RAKH DETE HEN LEKIN PHIR BHEE US KO
BOHAT TAKLEEF HOTEE HE.
ABB BAREE ATEE HE PAKISTANEE KEE US KO KEHTE HEN KEH TUM MUSALMAN HO ISS LEYE APNEE DO AKHREE KOAHISH BATA SAKTE HO.PAKISTANEE UN SE KEHTA HE KEH MEREE PEHLEE KOAHISH YEH HE KEH MEREE KAMER PER 40 KEE BAJAYE 80 KOREE MAREE JAYEN OR DOOSREE YEH HE KEH MEREE KAMER
PER INDIAN KO LITA DEYA JAYE. US KEE DONONN KOHASISH POOREE KER DEE JATEE HEN OR YOON BECHARA INDIAN.............HAHAHAHAHHAHA

Lets face it, English is a stupid language.



There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.


We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.


If writers write, how come fingers don-t fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn-t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught, Why didn-t the preacher praught.


If a vegetarian eats vegetables -> What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play -> Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and -> Drive on parkways
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day -> And as cold as hell on another


You have to marvel at the unique lunacy Of a language where a house can burn up as It burns down
And in which you fill in a form By filling it out And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers And it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn-t a race at all)


That is why


When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch -> It starts
But when I wind up this poem -> It ends.

Master apney shagird se kehta hai tum english mein baat kiya karo agley din barish hoti hai aur class mein dair se jata hai tu master pochta hai tum dair se kyun aye shagird kehta hai
oh my master i am come
goddey goddey pani mei cham cham
one pair pisla i am karam
ote basta talai i am

Aik dafa aik larke ko us ki teacher kahti hai tum ne subha english mien teen(3)words yaad kar ke school anaa hai.wo ghaar jata hai to wo apni mum se kahta hai ke meri teacher ne kaha hai ke mien ne english mien three words yaad kaney hain,us ki mum gussey mien hoti hai to kehty hai SHUT UP wo yea hi word yaad kar leta hai SHUT UP,SHUT UP to us ki mum phir kahty hai SICK MAN wo yea bhi word yaad kar leta hai SICK MAN, SICK MAN,to phir wo kahin bahir jata hai to aik larka,larki ko kehta hai COMMON DEARLING wo yea bhi word yaad kar leta hai COMMON DEARLING,COMMON DEARLING.
To wo jab subha ko school jata hai to us ki teacher kahty hai tum ne apna sabaq yaad kiya?wo kehta hai SHUT UP,to teacher kehty hai tum batmizzy kar rahe ho?wo kehta hai SICK MAN to teacher kahty hai chalo mien tumien principle ke pass le kar jaty hoon to wo kehta hai COMMON DEARLING

Aik dafa ka zikkar hai ke aik admi ko english sikhney ka bahot shoq hota hai woh apney dost ke paas ja ker yah masla batata hai to uska dost kehta hai main tujhey english sikhata hoon woh us ko kehta ahi ke ajj peehla word yaad kerlo offcorse yes to woh bunda woh word yaad ker leta hai or her waqt repeat kerta rehta hai phir woh admi apney dost ke gher se bahir nikalta hai or market se guzarta hai waha per pizza wala khera hota hai , pizza wala poochta hai ke pizza khao gey to woh kehta hai ke offcorse yes to woh us ko pizza de deta hai , phir agey jata hai to wahan per burger wala khera hota hai , woh bhi poochta hai ke burger khaoo gey to woh kehta hai ke offcorse yes to woh usey burger dey deta hai phir woh aagey jata hai to wahan per usse boxer milta hai , boxer poochta hai ke maar khao gay to woh kehta hai ke offcorse yes to woh us ko bahot marta hai .......................
phir agley din woh apney dost ko batata hai ke yaaar terey wrod ki waja se bahot maar khaee hai to woh kehta ahi ke aaj to aesa kero ke niya word yaaad kero offcorse not to woh bunda usey yaad ker leta hai phir woh dost ke gher se bahir nikalta hai or market se guzarta hai waha per pizza wala khera hota hai , pizza wala poochta hai ke pizza khao gey to woh kehta hai ke offcorse not , phir agey jata hai to wahan per burger wala khera hota hai , woh bhi poochta hai ke burger khaoo gey to woh kehta hai ke offcorse not , phir woh aagey jata hai to wahan per uske boxer milta hai , boxer poochta hai ke kul wali maar yaad ahi to woh kehta ahi ke offcorse not to woh phir se us ko bahot marta hai .......................
phir woh dobara apney dost ke gher jata hai
or kehta hai ke aaj phir mai ney maar khaee to woh usey kehta hai ke aaj aesa ker aaj aik word yaad keer very good to woh yah word yaad ker leta hai or bhir nikalta hai pizza wali ke dukan per jata hai to woh usey kehta ahi ke yaar marey dukann per daka per giya ahi to woh kehta hai ke woh kehta hai ke very good to woh us ko bahot galiyaan deta hai .. phir agey jata hai to waha per berger wala khera hota hai woh usey kehta hai ke yaaar mere dukan main aag lag gayee hai to woh kehta ahi ke very good to burger wala usey bahot galiyaan deta hai ... phir woh agey jata ahi to wwaha per boxer ro raha hota hai to woh boxer se poochta ahi ke kia hoa to woh kehta ahi ke meree maan(mother) mer gayee ahi to woh kehta ahi very good to phir boxer us ko itna marta ahi ke woh maar hi jata ahi ............................................................................
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

one man from village came to the modern city, he liked it but he saw everybody was talking in english so he decided to learn english,His first lesson was a poem twinkle twinkle little star how i wonder what you are so he repeated the poem tande tande aam ka achar khalo chapati leke dakar.

who said that english is easy???????????
Fill in the blank with YES or NO
1------- dont have brain.
2------- dont have sense.
3-------i am stupid....

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It is said that inzamam don`t understand english. Once commentator asked, Hay inzi your wife had a baby last week, is this true?. Inzi said, Bismillah Hir Rahman Raheem first of all i thanks to Allah and then credit goes to all boys, they really worked hard especially afridi done very well. If they continue we can have another chance

Tutor to Santa: Write ur father name in English

Santa: Beautiful Red Underwear

Tutor: Are u joking?

Santa: No Sir his name is Sundar Lal Chadda

0346-6625521
0321-7760380

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EnGLiSh ShAyErI

The JanazA Of MehBooB Nikla From The Gali Of MehBooBa With LotS Of ZoR ShoR

The MehboobA Jhanki From The DooR And Boli ? Mar Gaya HaRaMKhor?

Are you fluency in English.?
Read it fast..

Upper roller lower roller
Roller lower Roller Upper

1 angraze URDU seekhnay k liay Pakistan aya::
Kuch waqt k bad wo wapis gya.Logon ne us se poocha k us ne kya seekha:
Us ne kaha
.
.
Bijley chali gayi
.
Bijley a Gai...
^_^
03435188778

Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya,
He did translation:

1.Main aam admi nahi hon
I’m not a mango man

2.Sarda or garma fruit hain.
Colda & hota r fruits

3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay
English comes 2 me also

4.do ro do chaar.
give and give four.

5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay
I belong 2 green pur thousanda:)


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