Miscellaneous

It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.

Jake asks her, What are you up to?

Alice smiles, I''m going hunting with you!

Jake, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decides to take her along.

Later they arrive at the hunting site. Jake sets his wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her, If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I''ll come running back as soon as I hear the shot.

Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice could not bag an elephant... much less a deer. Not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots.

Quickly, Jake starts running back. As Jake gets closer to her stand, he hears Alice screaming: Get away from my deer!

Confused, Jake races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell: Get away from my deer! followed by another volley of gunfire.

Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake is surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the air.

The cowboy, obviously distraught, says: Okay, lady, okay!!!! You can have your deer!!! Just let me get my saddle off it!

We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that his wife
is beautiful and his children smart.

(Scene - Ajit get’s hold of his favourite hero
& then directs his chela.)
AJIT: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal
aur doosre haath mein hara rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
AJIT: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta?
Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise range
haathon pakad legi. he he he

(Scene - Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
AJIT: “Robert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal do.
Saale ko Society jeene nahin degi aur security marne nahin degi

(Scene - Robert and Ajit are in a boat.
The boat suddenly springs
a hole and water starts coming inside.
Robert is perplexed !)
Robert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
AJIT: Robert Ek aur hole bana do,
aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me OUT likh do.
Ek hole se paani ander aayega
aur doosre se bahar chala jayega !!

AJIT: Robert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Robert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.
Ajit: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega.
Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Robert: Yes Boss.
AJIT: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards,
tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai …….

Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon,
mujhe headache ho raha hai.
AJIT:Bewakoof………Abe head ek ho ya do,
kaam tou karna hi padegaa.!

Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman
feeling himself to have excessive control
over his personal affairs.

AJIT: Robert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Computer laga
do aur debugger start kar dou.
Robert: Lekin kyoon, boss?
AJIT: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.