SantaBanta

Preeto: What is inflation?

Santa: Earlier u were 36-24-36, now u r 36-42-48. Now u hav more than before, yet ur worth is much less. That's inflation!

Banta: Some people can tell time by looking at the sun.

Santa: But I've never been able to see the numbers

Pappu: Dad, what's a hermaphrodite?

Santa: I don't know, son, but ask your mother, he'll know!

Santa and Banta met in the street.

Banta: Where are you coming from?

Santa: The cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law.

Banta: Oh, I'm sorry. But what are those scratches on your face?

Santa: She put up a heck of a fight!

Santa goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor I can't stop my hands from shaking".

Doctor: Do you drink much?

Santa: No, I spill most of it.

Santa to his boss, "It is said that crime doesn't pay".

Boss: Quite right.

Santa: Does that mean that my job is a crime?

Santa: I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.

Banta: Why not?

Santa: I don't like to interrupt her.

While walking in the highlands, Santa fell down a deep hole.

Banta: Are U OK?

Santa: Yeah!

Banta: Did u break anything?

Santa: No, there's nothing down here.

Banta: What is Ox?

Santa: Gaadi.

Banta: What's Oxford?

Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.

Banta: Why is it that almost all serial killers are men.

Santa: That's simply because women like to kill only one man slowly and steadily!

Santa to Banta: I and my wife are really very compatible.

Banta: You may call me rude but frankly, I don't find any similarity!

Santa: You see, my wife hates the sight of me when I'm drunk, and I hate the sight of her when I'm sober!

Santa: I always drink responsibly. I take care not to spill even a single drop.

Santa: May I have some stationery?

Hotel Receptionist (haughtily): Are you a guest of the house?

Santa: Hell, no. I am paying 3000 Rupees a day!

Santa bought a car on loan... He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.

Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!

Santa: Banta once told me, "0nions are the only food that make you cry."

That was before I hit him in the face with a Watermelon.

Astrologer: You must get married to 32 years old woman only to start a happy life.

Santa: Shall I marry two 16 years old girls?

Shaadi Mein Santa bahut der se khana kha raha tha...kisi ne pucha, kab tak khaoge?


Santa: Main toh khud pareshan hoon.....par card me likha hai,

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"Dinner 7-12 PM!"

Heights of Friendship: Santa commiting suicide, someone asked the reason. He said: My wife ran with my friend and I can't
live without my friend.

Banta: Why can't women drive well?

Santa: Because there are so many mirrors in a car to distract them!

Santa: My wife left me because of my views on the environment.

Banta: That's really weird.

Santa: Yeah, it really is. I only tried saving water by showering with the woman next door!