Yaad

Wen u feel sad,
go 2 da mirror and say
damn.................i am soooooooooooooo cute
u will overcome ur sadness,
but dont make this a habit
COZ LIARS GO 2 HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AIK DFA AIK BACHA APNAY AMMI ABBU KAY SAATH JA RAHA HOTA HAI...KAY ACCHANAK AMMI KA JOOTA GIR JATA HAI BACHA ABBU SAI KEHTA HAI KAY AMMI KA JOOTA GIR GAYA ..TO ABBU KEHTAY HAIN MARKET SAI KHAREED LAIN GAY AAGAY JA KAR AMMI KI CHAADAR GIR JA TI HAI BACHA PHIR ABBU SAI KEHTA KAY AMMI KI CHAADAR GIR GAYE TO ABBU KEHTAY HAIN MARKET SAI KHAREED LAIN GAIN AAGAY JA KAI AMMI GIR JATEIN HAI TO BACHA PHIR ABBU SAI KEHTA HAI KAY AB AMMI GIR GAEEN TO ABBU KEHTAY HAIN UNHAY BHI MARKET SE KHAREEDLAIN GAIN.HA!HA!

Talwaar aur Salwaar mein kya aik jesa hai?
Dono hee ke baahar Ane par Aadmi ghayal ho jata hai!!

kisee ne ek nowjavawn se poochha,bhaee batawo:- pakistani cricketer Or
condom men kya farq hai.
nowjavawn tapawk se bola:-
why! cricketer drops the catch while condom catches the drop.

ek chota bacha ek dafa apney dad sey poochta hai, A
bu mein kahan sai aya hoon?
To dad sochta hai key ab SAHI WAQT agaya hai key mein bachey ko 1 qudrat ka raaz bata doon.
To woh usay sub kuch detail say bata ta hai or jub woh thak ker paseena ponchta hai to bacha masoomiat sai kahta hai,
Abu lakin chintoo to aaj kah raha tha kay woh lahore sai aya hai,

duniya main anda pehley aaya ya choza ?

jawab deney ke liye id note karein
danish
danishsheikh4u@hotmail.com

mujhe aap ke jawab ka inteezaar rahe ga aaur jin hazraat ko jawab nahin pata hai woh mujhe add karalain jawab mill gaye ga

PARNAM SINGH KO APNAY TAO SAY MILNAY AMERICA JANA THA BARI MUSHKIL SAY VISA BANWAYA TICKET KATAI OR AMERICA JANAY WALI PARWAAZ PAY SAWAAAR HO GAYA JAHAZ AIR PORT SAY URA 10 MINUTES KI PARWAZ KAY BAD JAB JAHAZ 4O,OOO KI BULANDAY PAY POHNCHA TO KAPTAAN MUSAFIROON SAY KUCH YOON MUKHATIB HUA AMERICA JANAY WALI FLAIGHT PAR AAPKA KAPTAAN AAPKO KHUSH AAMDAID KEHTA HAY IS WAQT HUM 4O,OOO KI BULANDI PAR PARWAAZ KARRAHAY HAIN RAASTAY MAIN HUM FRANCE BHI RUKAIN GAY RASTAY KA MOSAM BILKUL KHUSHGAWAAR HAY MUJHAY UNEED HAY K AAPKA SAFAR KHUSHGAWAR ITNA KEH KAR KAPTAAN CHUP JUA HI THA KAY SPEAKER PAR KAPTAAN KI AAWAAZ I OY BERAA GHARAQ HO GAYA KAPTAAN KI YEH GHABRAI HUEE AWAAZ SUN KAR PARNAM SINGH SAMAIT SUB MUSAFIROON KO GOYA SAANP SOONGH GAYA SUB KHAMOSH HO GAY ITNAY MAIN PHIRR SPEAKER PAY KAPTAAN KI AWAAZ I KHAW3 O HAZRAAT MAIN AAP SAY MAFI CHAHTA HOON SPEAKER PER MAIRAY MOON SAY GHALAT JUMLA NIKAL GAYA DAR ASAL AIR HOSTIS MAIRAY LIYAY COFFI LAY KAR I THI JHATKA LAGNAY SAY COFFI MAIRI PATLOON PAY GIR GAI OR MAIRAY MOON SAY BAIA GHARAQ NIKAL GAYA KHATRAY KI KOIEE BAAT NAHI SIRF MAIRAI PATLOON GILI HUEE HAY KAAPTAAN KA YEH KHITAAB SUN KAR PARNAM SINGH CHILAYYA OY TERI PATLOON TAY KHUSK HO JAY GI JARI MAIRI NIKKAL GAI A UNNON KON DHOY GA

teen bacchay hootay hain . Pehla kahta hai marey abbo kay dant(teeth) to heeray ki tarah chamaktay hain.Dossra kehta hai kay meray abbo kay dant (teeth)to folaad ki tarah masboot hain . Teecra kahta hai kay meray abbo kay dant(teeth)to jado kay hain kabhi mainz per hootay hain kabhi moon main.
Batana kasa laga .

aik doost nai doosrai doost sai kaha ka marai hath main kya hai
doosra bola kai haathi(elephant)
to pahlai doost nai kaha A doosth aap nai asai dakha ta.

dil da bua khol main andar ana chani aan main hooni na kai aaiy aan main feir nana chani aan

A Brahman (Hindu religious preacher) goes Ganga to make shanaan (Bath). Reciting “Ram Ram Ram Ram” he was holding parasad pan in his hand. Oh, it’s quite cold this morning, says the Hindu Father. How dare I shall bath in Ganga. He looks around, nobody out there, he throws a small stone in Ganga and says “Jay Kenkar Shanaan te main Shanaan” (I am bathed as the stone has bathed). He turns back and faces another Brahman in front of him. Jay tain shanaan te main shanaan (I am also bathed if you have bathed), says the following Brahman.

aik bacha jo k apni sharatoon ki waja say bohat mash hoor tha wo aik Peeer k paas giya jin k baray main mash hoor tha k ye roohoon say mulaqaat karwatay hain aur jinnaat in ki qead main hain... wo bacha un k paas giya aur un ki fees ada karnay k baad un say bola k mujhay apnay dada ki rooh say milna hay wo ussay aik andhairay kamray main lay gay jahaan ussay aik awaaz sunai di Beta bolo kiya baat hay main tumharay dada ki rooh bol rahi hoon bachay nay jawab diya k main ye poochhna chahta hoon k main aap ko abi ghar chorrh kar aaya hoon to aap ki rooh yahaan kia kar rahi hay.........lolzzzzz

This is no joke i am trying to get across to those Muslims who don--t follow Islam. Please do before it is too late. I once again request you brother and sister--s please try following Islam for a week and i can almost gurantee you that you feel much more better instead of sending forward your jokes. Ameen

One day, a teacher, a garbage collector and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, What was the name of the ship that crashed into an iceberg? They just made a movie about it. The teacher answered quickly, That would be the Titanic. St. Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and decided to make the question a little harder, How many people died on the ship? Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, About 1,500. That--s right! You may enter. St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. Name them.

Baap betay say: beta tumhain kaisi biwi chaihiyay beta: Mujhey Chand jaisi biwi chaihiyay Jo raat KO ayay or subha chali jaaya.

hum roz subha unhe kehte hai good morning ,
hum roz subha kehte hai good morning ,
woh aise ghoor ke dekta hai ,
jaise 0 errors , or 5 warning

A Spinner

Ek spinner bowler apni suhaag raat ke din apni dulhan se kehne laga; Husband: Tum ne zindagi main mere alawa kisi aur se piyar kiya?

Wife: reply dene ke bajaye apna head dhere dhere nichey karne lagi.

Husband: main janta tha ke tum mere alawa kisi se piyar nahi karti ho, is liye apna head nichey karliya

Wife: Nahin, aisi baat nahi hai, main count kar rahi thi, waise aap preshan na hoon, spinner ko nai ball nahi di jati hai

Teacher apny student say kehta hay kay mujhy is sentence ka english mai tranlate bataoo( gooliyaan sadar bazaar main chal rahi hain ) tu srudent nay jawad diya kay the tablets are running in president bazaar .phir teacher nay usy doosra sentence dia (kaam hoa or hota chala gaya tu student nay jawad dia the work is done and done danaa dun dun .

Ek aamir admi nay ghareeb se pooch ka Gadha ghari aur moter gadhri main kiya farq hota hai:
Gharib admi nay jawaab deya ka;
Gadha gahri may Gaha gahri kay bahar hota hai aur moter gahri main gahri kay aandar

president bush says to mula umar:
(b)=bush (u)mula umar)
(b)ai kya bolta tu (u) ai kya mein boloun
(b) sun (u) suna (b)deta kya usama (u) kya karogai agar nahi diya jo usama?(b)marwaoonga pitwaoonga bamb barsaoonga war karaoonga aur kya...
...
..................

Aik pathaan tha wo sciencedaan tha...;)

aik bechy na apne dosre dost se kaha ki yarr ajkl ki ammi ko buche palne nahin atee,,dosre dost na kaha kion kia hoa?pahla bucha bola,,jab hum so rahe hote hain tu kahte hain ki uth jao,,jab hum jag rahe hote hain tu kahte hain so jai

Two friends Tom & Henry went to school for appearing in English
exam (7th standard). They had crammed an essay of MY BEST FRIEND.
But unfortunately, in the question-paper it was written ...... write an essay on MY FATHER in just 30-45 words. So
Tom was utterly confused & nervous ...what to do!!!

Henry gave an idea . . . . just write the essay My best friend &
just keep on replacing the word friend with the father.....

So this was how Tom & Henry wrote the essay MY FATHER......

Fathers & fathers are everywhere, but good fathers are very rare. I
have so many fathers, but my best father is Peter. He is my
neighbor. He often comes to my home & my mother likes him very much.

Two friends go to golf court in the evening to play for which they had already booked in advance for 5 to 7pm. It was already 5:05 and two ladies were still playing in the same court. One of them proposed that he will go to them and ask to leave the court immediately. He went for a distance and came back without talking to the ladies. Another friend asks what happened, why did you come back? He answered among two ladies, one is my wife and another my girlfriend yaar, how can I appear in front of them together and ask to leave? the first one said - OK, I will go and ask them to leave the court. He goes for some distance and comes back. Waiting friend asks what happened to him. He replies Yaar, among those two ladies, one is my wife and another my girlfriend, I also could not appear in front of them and ask to leave?
The waiting friend said The world is not enough

once a sardaar saw a burning house nd went inside nd removed 6 persons from inside still he was jailed why?
because all six were fire fighters

(Mian biwi se):Yeh kia tum aye din lip sticks pey paisey barbad karti ho,yeh kaise itni jaldi khatam hojati hein? ( Biwi jawab daiti hey):Kya karun adhi to apke mun mey chali jati hey...............

Bechara Gadha

Ajj shehar main ik gadha ghabra kai mar gaya
Logon ka yah khayal tha kai kuch kha kai mar gyaa ..

1 Insaan nain kiya phone to Police agaye
Dead body kai 4 taraf woh is tarah chah gaye...

News Reporter bhi ab wahan phonchnay lagay
Log tarah tarah ki batain sochnay lagay....

Phir Dead body ko post martam kai liye lay jaya gaya
Baray baray Doctors ko bhi wahan bolaya gaya....

News Repoter nain kiya badnaam police ko
Shayad kai gadha day daita Bayan police ko....

lagay karnay police walay news waloon say takraar
Hum ko hai lash kai post martam ka intizar...

Intizar hua khatam repotain bhi agayin
Sab kai dilon ko is tarah Jhonjhala gayin....

Sab sochnay lagay kai yah kiya kar gaya
Ik gadhi ko is nain Dekha to sharma kai mar gaya..;)


Mamoo Kaisa laga ;) acha hai to to Add karna mujhy itne deer say kiya kar raha hai :D

hi

aik dafa aik admi train main safar ker raha hota hai or pichlay 5 min say apni tang per khujli ker raha hota hai lekin usay kuch mehsos hi nahi ho raha hota.woh apnay sath walay musafir ko kehta hai kaya bahai lagta hai meri tang sun ho gai hai,main kafi der se is per khujli ker raha hon lekin kuch mehsos hi nahi ho rahasath wala musafir kehta hai kay bahi sahab app pichlay panch min se meri tang per khujli ker rahay hain.to app ko kaya khak mehsos ho gi...???

aik acha ladka hota hai aik shrarti ladka hota hai dono bhai hotain hain apni ammi kai sath bazar jatain hain shrarti ladka road jaldi say bhag kar cross karleta hai phir jab acha ladka cross karta hai to wo road pay jata hai aur daien dekhta hai phir jab baien dekhta hai to aik car us ko mar deti hai ami poochti hai hospital main beta dekha nhi tha kia? acha ladka bolta hai ap he nai to kha tha road pay daien aur baien dekh kar cross karna :)

aik din aik kisaan sarak k kinarey betha hota hai achanak us ki nazar aik light par parti hai wo us light ko dekhtey dekhtey aagey tak nikal jata hai abey bas kar na yaar aur na parh joke kiu kia sab kuch bata doon..........hehe

zameen se lay ker asma tak
asma se lay ker zameen tak
zameen se lay ker asma tak
asma se lay ker zameen tak
zameen se lay ker asma tak
asma se lay ker zameen tak

bas.......
hawa hi hawa hai

phone ki ghantee bajtee hai sohar biwi say kahta hai kah mera ho tu kah dena main ghar main nahi ho.biwi ph per kahtee hai maray shohar ghar main hai.tu shohar naraz ho kar kahta hai main nai kaha tha kah main ghar main nhai ho.biwi kahtee hai yah mera ph tha.ha ha ha aha ah

Ali: mom, can i go out to play?
Mother:what?? with those torn trousers?
Ali: no, with the kids across the road!!!

Anas: Hi, Ali! what r u doing?
Ali: plz dont bother me i m writing a letter to my grand mother.
Anas: but why r u writing so slowly.
Ali: cauze my grand mother cannot read fast!!!

DO DOST FILM DEKHNAY GAYAY RASTAY MAIN PAN KI DUKAN SE PAN KHAREED LIYA BECH FILM MAIN AGAY BETHAY DOST NE MUSHKIL MAIN KAHAN YAAR PEEK JAMAN HOGAYI HAI KAI KARON PECHAY WALAY NE KAHA YAAR AGLAY KI JEEB MAIN DAL DAY TU US NE KAHA NAHIN IS TARHAN TU US KO PATA CHAL JAYAY GA TU PECHAY WALAY NE KAHA ABHI TAK TUJH KO PATA CHALA HAI

once a fool asked from a fool who are you?
a fool replied i am a fool.then the fool asked the same quetion from the other fool that who are you that fool replied that i am also a fool because i am waisting my time with a fool asking such foolish questions.

there were three people 1 name was shit the 2nd was pardon the 3rd was manners
one day they decided to go for a walk shit and manners got stuck in the drain pardon went to the police and said my friends are stuck in the drain the police asked him what was your name he said pardon the police asked again what was your name he said pardon the police said where is your manners pardon said manners is stuck in drain whith shit.. he he he he he he he .

eik din aik admi stage pe aa kar gana gane lagta hi our bar bar us ke dant zemin per gir Jate hin our woh bar bar utha kar mu min rakhta hi pher gana gana gane lagta hi tu us ke dant gir jate hin, hall mein se eik admi kadra ho kar kaitha hi gana bi sunaoge yan pher castte hi badelte rohoge.

once a monkey asks his mother monkey
y r we so ugly
she replied at least we r little ugly the guys who read this r more ugly then us

A man asked another man,where is Bhati gate situated?he replied,it is near the DATA DARBAAR.But i also dont know where the DATA DARBAAR is?he enquired.it is near Bhati,he answered.the first man asked with surprise,But i dont know where both of these are. Both are very close to each other,the man replied.

A Sarder goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, What is that shiny object? The clerk replies, That is a thermos flask. The Sarder then asks, What does it do? The clerk responds, It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold. The Sarder says, I--ll take it! The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His Sarder boss sees him and asks, What is that shiny object with you? He said, It--s a thermos flask. The boss then says, What does it do? He replies, It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. The boss said, Wow, what do you have in it? The Sarder replies, Two cups of coffee and a coke.

ADMI NAAI SE;MERI TERE NAAM WALI CUTTING KAR DO.
NAAI UISKI TIND KAR DETA HAI
ADMI GHUSE SE ;YE KYA KIA HAI???
NAAI; MAI KYA KAROON MAI NE DEKHI HI END SE HAI.

one man from village came to the modern city, he liked it but he saw everybody was talking in english so he decided to learn english,His first lesson was a poem twinkle twinkle little star how i wonder what you are so he repeated the poem tande tande aam ka achar khalo chapati leke dakar.

A boy came running to his mother and asked her
Mother! plz give me Rs 10, as i want to help a poor man
His mother asked but where is the poor man? He is at the corner of our street selling icecreams!
the boy said innocently.

no body know
what is hate
i will tell you
what is hate
H for heat dont gave
A for anger dont take
T for temper dont loose
E for enemy dont make
Now
every body know what is hata

one day two friends are gone to attend the interview.one fellow is fool and other one is clever.1st turn comes to the clever fellow.the interviewer asked
the following query.
a)who is the president of u.s.a.?
ans)bush
b)how many days are there in a year?
ans)365 days
c)how many stars are there in sky?
ans)still scientists are finding
after that clever one coming out form the room.Then fool ask the what are the answers.then he says bush,365,still scients are finding.
then interviewerask the fool fellow
a)what is u r name?
he says bush
b)what is u r age?
365 days
c) are u mad?
he says still scientist are finding.
________________________________
one day a man came to a doctors house and said
man: Sir it--s very serious;
doctor: what--s the matter?
man: my friend is very serious>
doctor: what happened?
man: he is vommiting every hour;
doctor: ok
man: what is the fee?
doctor: if u bring the patient to my clinc its just 20 Rupee.
man: what if u treat him in home?
doctor: it is 45 rupee
man: come on doctor let--s go home
>> so the doctor with the man drived home with doctor--s own car,and then they got home
doctor:(anxiously) where is the patient?
man: thank u sir!
doctor: it--s ok where is the patient?
man: he is not here sir!
doctor: then why did disturbed me?
man: SIR when i asked an autorickshaw driver what is the cost to reach from there to here, he said its 90 rupees>
doctor: so what?
man: i got home with 45 rupees sir haa haa haa hah
_________________________

eik pehlwan dosaray admi ko kehta hay kay mian tumhay itnay zoor ka thaper maro ga kay tum germany pohanch jao gay,dosra admi kehta hay main tumhay itna zoor ka thaper maro ga tum japan pohanch jao gay ,eik aur admi ata hay aur kehta hay ,kay bhei sahab mochay lahore jana hay aur mery pass pasay nahei hein aap mochay eik halka sa thaper mar dei kay main lahore pohanch jao haaaaaaaaa

Once a husband and a wife were sleeping in the night. they woke in the morning and the wife said I saw a dream that you were sending me jewellery and clothes! The husband said Yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill!

EK ADMI EK DUKANDAR SE EK ANDA KHARIDNE AAYA AUR USNE SABSE BADA ANDA (EGG) KHARIDA AUR GHAR LEKE GIYA AUR USKE BIWI NE JAISE HI ANDA THODA AUR DEKHA USME KUCH NAHI THA TO WOH BAHUT HI GUSSA HO KAR ANDA WALE KE PAAS GIYA AUR USSE BAHOUT JAGHRA HO GAYA TO PHIR AAKHIR MIEN WO DONO POLTRY FIRM MEIN GAYE AUR WOHAN KI MANAGER SE SHIKAYAT KIYA , PAR MANAGER MANA NAHI AUR BAAT BAHUT BAR GAYA , USI WAQAT MURGA MURGI SE KAHA KI DEKHA CONDOM USE KARNE SE KYA HOTA HAI.

Boss Saleem & Worker Hussan and Worker New job in oppt
first day of job

Sir Saleem : tell me what u doing in computer Hussan
JI Hussan : Nothing Sir Saleem Only Typing in Urdu and English and Designer and Letter and more
Boss Saleem : O Good Then im Give u job ok start ur work
HA Hussan : thanks sir Saleem For Give me job
Boss Saleem : ok Write Letter in Urdu
JI Hussan :ok Sir
Boss Saleem : fast Hussan dont vase time
bolo Hussan :Now Hussan is Write Letter in Urdu and now Boss Saleem is Read
Boss Saleem : Good Hussan ur Write Letter
kay ha Hussan: Yes Sir
Boss Saleem : ok Give me Im Read
Hussan : ya La Sir Letter App ka
Boss Saleem : O Hussan what u Write This ur not know Urdu
Hussan : Ji sir u tell me Write Letter In Urdu
Boss Saleem: yes i m tell u Write in Urdu not in Urdu English
Hussan : Sir ur not know chat
Boss Saleem: yes i m know
Hussan :then Sir Tell me how how people is chat u
Saleem : In Engish
Hussan: Yes sir i m know how people is chat
Saleem : Then tell me Hussan
Hussan: hey Saleem Tum kay kar ra ho or app ka bata or bate kasa ha or sub
Saleem : yes hussan ur Right
Hussan : then sir i m Write Letter Right
Saleem: Get Out
Hussan: sir u tell me write letter in Urdu ok sir i m know Know Urdu and sir i m always using internet that why im write letter in Chat Urdu Lange
SAleem: ok i m give u again one warring
Hussan :ok Sir

aik sikh ne apnay samnay walay ghar main aik ladki phansai hoti hai.aik din sikh us ladki ko chat per se ishara kerta haikay tum gher per aa na ghar per koi nahi ho ga.woh jab us kay ghar per jati hai to wahan per waqai koi nahi hota.HA HA HA.

Aik bacha apnay abbu se kehta hai ke abbu mujhe motor cycle dila dien abbu kehtay hain beta allah ne paoon kis liye diye hain beta kehta hai aik break laganay ke liye doosra gear laganay ke liye

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, I am very rich. Marry me! That--s Direct Marketing.

You--re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, He--s very rich. Marry him. That--s Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, Hi, I--m very rich. Marry me. That--s Telemarketing.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, I--m rich. Marry me She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. That--s Customer Feedback.

Ek Dawat Mai ek Andha bhi Shareeq Tha, Khanay mai Rus Gulay Bhi Thay Ittefaq Sai Andhay Ki Plate Mai ek Rus Gulay Mai Pathar Aagaya, is Nai pathar Mun Mai Dala aur zor Zor Sai Chabanay Laga,Aakhir na tota to Pathar Ko Apne ek Haath Sai ek taraf Kar Kai Phenk Diya Ittefaq Sai woh Pathar Samnay Walay Aadmi Kay Sir Par Laga Aur woh Sir Pakar Kar Zor Zor Sai Chillanay laga Toot Gaya Toot Gay Yeh Suntai Hi Andhay nai Jaldi Sai Kaha Toot Gaya Ho To Wapis Kar Dai Na

teacher ask children,what do you wish 2 do in future?
rameez: i want 2 be a pilot.
vinod: i want 2 be a doctor.
deepa: i want to be a good mother.
ravi: i want to help deepa

A man is daying of cancer
his son asked his father. Dad why do you keep telling people that you --re daying of Aid--s ? so father told his son that when i am dead no one will dare to touch your mom

ha ha ha ha ha ha :::::::

Question: what is a difference between stress,tension and panic ?
Answer: stress is when wife is pregnant , tension is when girl friend inpregnant and panic is when both are pregnant

your joke

aey haseen larki tu ne kia mahfel saja rakhe hai umey tu wo cheez chachiea jo tu ne tangoo mein chupa rakhe hai ....... howz that one dudes!

person1:Yar menaray pakistan kyou nahi jhukta. person2:jhukta hai magar jab woh herah munde ko deekhta hai to dubara sedha ho jata hai.

hazaroon larkiyan asi k
har larki pay dam nikalay
jis larki pay dam nikalay
wo larki ghar say kam nikalay.

IK DAFA DO CHEETIAN KHUB SHARAB PEE KUR GHOM RAHI HOTI HIN UNHAY SAMANY SAY IK HATHI AATA HUA NZ AATA HI TO WOH IK DRUKHT PER CHADH JATI HAIN JUB HATHI DRUKHT K NEECHAY SAY GUZRTA HAI TO IK CHEETI KA PAIR PHISAL JATA HAI OR WOH HATHI PER GIR JATI HAI TO DOOSRI CHEETI US SAY KAHTI HAI MUSUL DAY SAALAY KO

a woman was going to die and she said to her husband what whould u do when i would die he said tht i would go mad when u will die she said will u marry an other woman so his husband reply a mad man can do anything

Mother:Beta dhoop main khade kiya kar rahe ho
Son:Ammi paseena sukha raha hooon

ek pati aankhein band karke mirror ke samne khada tha to..
Patni:-kyon aankhe band karke khade ho aaine ke saamne
Pati:-chup baith main nind hota hoo to kaisa lagta hoo dekh raha hoo

If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
It--s your stupidity.

A soldier serving overseas and far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote
breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together
and sent them to her with a note stating the following:
--Regret cannot remember which one is you ... please keep your photo and return the others.--

Son ; Dad have you ever been to Egypt.
Dad ; no son , but why are u asking this question to me
SON; then were did you bought mummy.

A man wanted to kill him self and he went to his farind and said:
how can I kill myself, his friend said Hang yourself.
The next day his friend saw him alife and asked are you still alive?
The man said I handed myself and I was almost to die.

ek din ek chor rat gaye kissie kay ghar main chory karnay jata hai
ghar ka malik so raha hota hai chor issay utha kar pochta hai kay sona kahan hai?
malik makan soye huaye jawab dayta hai kay YAR SARA GHAR KHLAI PADA HAI JAHAN MANRZY SO JAO.........LOLLZZZZ.............

dark were those days without ur sight
when i was in darkness u gave me light
u gave me strength u make my life bright
thank u so much PHILIPS TUBE LIGHT

shahjahan nay TAJ mehal ke her dewaar ko dekha...her farash ko dekha..her khirki say jhanq ker dekha..aur bola..MAA KASAM BOHAT KHARCHA KO GAYA

Ek lardke ne uske pappa se pucha: Pappa aap kahan paida hua the?
Pappa: Main Banglore main paida hua tha.
Phir lardke ne pacha pappa se: Mummy kahan paida hui theen?
Pappa ne jawab diya: Woh Hyderabad mein hui theen.
Phir se lardke ne pucha: Main kahan paida hua tha???
Pappa: Tum baita Delhi main paida hua the.
Phir bache ne pocha (masoomiyat se): Phir hum mile kaise???

Ek admi kay pass two parrots hotay hain.ek parrot ahr waqt sajday main rahta hai aur dosera parrot tasbi patrta rahta hai.iss admi kay hamsay kay pass ek female parrot hoti hai JO BOHAT HI SHARARTI HOTI HAI.har waqt kisi ko tang karti rahti hai.Female parrot wala admi apnay hamsay say kahta hai kah aap mera parrot apnay parrots kay pass rakh lain taikah woh bhi aap kay parrotski tarah sharif ho ay .Woh kahta hai kah theak hai.lehaza male parrots wala admi female parrot ko apnay ghar lay ata hai .woh female parrot ko male parrot kay cage main rakh deta hai.jaisay hi male parrots female parrot ko dekhta hai jo tasbih parta rahta hai woh apni tasbi door phank kar sajday paray huay parrot say kahta hai uth yaar apni dua qabool hoo gai hai.

ik larka hota hai wo nokri laynay jata hai wahan par oska interview hota hai interview wala banda os ay puch ta hai . kay ap ko kia chahiyah . wo kaita hai ik gari,ik ghar , ik noka... phir os ko interview walay khatayhain k bahi hum ap ko ik ki jaga 2car dayin gay or ik gahr k bajii hum ap ko 2 ghar dain gay or ik nokar ki jaga 2nokar daygay wo jo banda nokari laynay atta hai wo kay ta hai sahab q mazaq kar rahay ho wo khata hai phlay shooro kay nay kia tha

ik riksha vala raat ko bohat sari savariyan le kar jaa raha hota hai to samne se aik police vala keh ta hai keh rok oye rok rikshe diyaan letan (headlight) hai nayi riksha vala pichhe ho ja rishe diya brekan vi hai nayi

Ek admi bus ke intezaar mein tha.
Dosra admi: (Card batate howe) kya aap yeh pata mujhe bata sakte hain?
Pehla admi: Main nahi janta.
Dosra admi: (Card dekhate howe) please! bata dijiye na.
Pehla admi: Sidhe sidhe jao wahan tumhe theen raste dekhae denge. pehla rasta chod do, dosra rasta chod do aur teesre raste par jao. kuch doori par wahan tumhe theen buildings dekhae dengi. pehli chod do, dosri chod do aur teesri main jao. is building ki theen floors hain. pehli chod do, dosri chod do, teesri mein jao, wahan theen rooms dekhae denge, pehla chod do, dosra chod do, teesre room mein jao, wahan theen almariyan dekhae dengi, pehli chod do, dosri chod do aur teesri khool lo is mein ek important kitaab hai. Main is ke uppar haath rak kar kasam khata hoon ke mujhe yeh pata nahi maloom hai.

jab tum hansate ho tou lagta hai k insaan pehlay bandar tha dekhho jaan ghussa matt hona kyoonkay jab tum ghussa hotay ho tou lagta hai k insaan aaj b bandar hai

helo helo mera leloo salam bolo bolo apne kholo zaban dekho dekho khol kay dekho apne ankhen kitna bara ha mera dil

6u!ll!ws d33>l
n ss!w l
aray janab nahi parna aata tou kabi kabi sar neechay aur taangay ooper kar k b par liya karien agar phhir b naa samaj aye tou muj ko mail kar leynaa

ek admi ka ke haat kata tha woh bohat tang agaya tha us ne socha ma to aaj world trade center se chalang maar doo ga magar jab woh world trade center par chara to us na deekah ke ek aur admi jis ke dono haat katay thay woh dance kar raha ha woh bohat haran hoowa us ne poocha admi se jis ke do haat katay tha ke aap dance kio kar rahay ho us na jawab dia kon kafir dance kar raha ha ma to kharish karnay ki koshish karaha hoo ```````````he he heh he

ali ka english ka parer tha ali ke papa {dad}(father) na ali ko english ke paper ki tayari karwai sab kuch ali ko yaad ho gaya magar jab essay (mazmoon) ki baari aye to us ke papa na ali se kaha saray essay ek jesay hootay ha to ma aap ko my friend yaad kar wa deta ho ali na my friend yaad kia aur soow gaya jab suba howi ali paper de kar aya us ke papa na poocha ali paper keisa diya ha ali na jawab diya atcha diya ha papa na kaha laa kar dekawo ali paper laya jab us ke papa ne question papre parha to us ma my father ka essay tha papa na kaha ma na to aap ko my father ka essay yaad he nahee karwaya ali na kaha aap na he to bola tha ke saray esay ek jesay hotay ha ma na likh diya papa na kaha kia likha ha ali na kaha i have many father but i like fahad he always come to my house we study togather &play with each other my mother like him very much a father in need is a father is in deed ~~~~~he he he he

Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain
maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain
Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko
aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain....
waaaaahhhhhhhhh...

ek kanjoos admi gana khata hua ja raha tha
to us ke peeche doosra choosa hua gana jo ke zameen per para tha woh utha ker khata hua jata, pehla kanjoos kehta hai, yeh dekho kitna kanjoos hai, mera khaya hua phir kha raha hai, dosra kanjoos kehta hai, bara kanjoos to tu hai, jo zara ras bhi nahi chori

ak bacha apni ammi say kahta hay ammi hamra jo nokar hay na arshad woh mase zarina ki kamur mai hath dal kar khara tha.ammi gusay mai kahthi hain sharm nahi bilkul bachoun kai samnai ase harkatein abhi ja kar batate houn ammi jaisay hi janay lagthi hain .bacha kahtha hay ammi april foofl april fool woh nokar arshad nahi woh th abu thy.......

Aik Banriya apni Maan se: Ami mein itni Kali or Badsoorat kiun hoon . Maan Beta Khuda ka shukar ada kia ker or us ko dekh jo is waqt yeh messege per raha he.....HA HA HA

Why did the merm cross the road?





....................................................MERM!!!!!!!!

aik bacha or us ka abu cycle per ja rehay hotay hain rastay main cycle ke huwa nikel jati hai us ka bu bachay say kehta hai jao gher or apni ammi say kehna kay pump dain cycle ke huwa nikel gayi hai bacha gher jata hai or ammi sasy kehta hai ammi ammi abu ke huwa nikel gayi hai pump day dain

Aik bewakoof nay riksha driver say poocha : Kion bhai Sadar chalo gay kia .
Driver bola : Kion nahi janab tashreef rakhain janab
Bewakoof riksha main beth gaya .Sadar ponch kar bewafook nay driver say kiraya malom kia . Kitna bill bana .
Driver:Janab 10 rupe.
Bewakoof nay foran 5 rupe nikal kar driver ko deye aur chal deya .
Driver nay us ko aawaz di aur bola janab ye to 5 rupe hain .
Bewakoof aakhain phar kar bola .Kia tum mujh ko bewakoof samajh tay ho , Maray sath tum bhi to riksha main bathay ho
tumhara bill kon dayga.

ek dafa ek admi doodh waale ke paas dhoodh lene aata aur kehta bhai sahab jo mai ne kal doodh liya tha woh bara khata tha to doodh waala bolta hai haan bhai sahab kal gaaaye (cow)ne ghalti se neembo khaliya tha

aap ke dar par sanam hazaar baar aain gaye
aap ke dar par sanam hazaar baat aain gaye
ghante bajainm gaye aur bhaag jayein gaye

zamane ke der se tere tasweer toilet mein chupa rakhe hai
dedaar ho tera baar baar us lea julaab ke gole khaa rakhe hai

1 bewi aapna shohar sa baot tang thi wo roz us sa kehti thie ka log ya kerta hain awr wo kerta hain 1 tum ho ka nakamma ho ma na kal 1 aadmi ko dekha hai wor ur raha thaw, shohar us ki tasalli ka lia kehta hai wo to ma he tahw, bewi foran boli tabbi ma samji ya tera tera ku ur raha hai

Tumko Dekha To Khayal Aaya
Tumko Dekha To Khayal Aaya
Ki Paglon K Stock Main Naya Maal Aaya

-----------Smile Please----------

Ek Admi Ki @ Biwiyan Apass Mein Lar Rahi Hooti Hai...Pheli Kehti Hai Ajj Bhud(WEDNESDAY) Hai...Dosri kehti Hai Nahi Ajj Jumerat(Thursday) Hai...In Ka Shohar Ata Hai...In ko larta Dek Ker Kehta Hai...Mein Kiya Pagal Ka Bacha Hon Jo Jummai(Firday) Ki Namaz Per Ker Araha Hon...

once a fool asked from a fool who are you?
a fool replied i am a fool.then the fool asked the same quetion from the other fool that who are you that fool replied that i am also a fool because i am waisting my time with a fool asking such foolish questions.

aik sardaar apne dost se yaar hamari gaon mai bari kothi hai us mai aik khaas baat hai wo khaas baat yeh hai ke us mai theen swimming pool hain dost heraangi se theen pool haan yaar aik pool mai garam paani sardiyon mai banda garam paani se nahaye doosre pool mai thanda paani garmion mai banda thande paani se nahaye tho dost yaar teesara pool? wo kiss lia? sardaarji wo pool khaali hai dost wo kuen yaar kabhi nahi bhi nahane ka dil karta.

aik dafa kissi ne aik aadmi se poocha ke app ka naam kutta kuen hai or kis ne rakha hai app plz apna name change kar lo mughe bilkul pasand nahi hai or phir doosra aadmi bola bhai app ka naam kia hai tho dosra bola by the way mera naam kutti hai

Bhikhari : bhikhari bhik mangte rahta hai o sahab g 50 paise ya 1 rupya de do to.
Sheth : sheth g apna hath pocket me dalta hai bolta hai aaj chutta nahi hai kal le lena.
Bhikhari : O sheth g main kisi ka udhar rakhta nahi huin.

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey, Hey! what are you doing?
The monkey says, Smoking a joint, come up and have some.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints. After a while the lizard says his mouth is --dry-- and is going to get adrink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, What--s the matter with you?
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says, Hey you!
The Monkey looks down and says, Faaaaaaark dude.......how much water did you drink?!

ek aeroplane takeoff k liye ready ho raha hota hai to pilot mic se kehta hai k app log apni apni seat belt band lein yeh keh kar woh mic rakhta hai aur mic ko off karna bhool jata hai aur apnay app se kehta hai k abh main coffee pion gah aur phir airhostess k saath batain karoon gah yeh baat airhostess sun kar bhagti hai k pilot ko chup karaye kyunki speaker main awaaz arahi hoti hai to woh airhostess ek aadmii se takra tii hai to wah aadmi kehta hai k itni jaldi bhi kia hai abhi to woh coffe bhi piye gah :):):):):) thanks

AIK BANDAR KA BACHA APNI MAA SAYMAA MAY ITNA BADSURAT KION HOONMAAKHUDA KA SUKAR KARO OSAY DEAKHO JO YEH MESSAGE PER RAHA HAY(SORRY 4 ENJOY)

ku ku

.

ka ka

.

ga ga

.

ga ga

.
ka ka ki

.
gu gu ki ki

.
ka ka ku ku

.
ki ki ki ku ku


.



ga ki ku ka ka ku
.

ki ku ki ki ku ku

.

.

.

.

Congratulations!

.

.

.

.

.

u have sucessfully

.

.

.

.

.

learned the

.

.

.

Monkey Language.

Please come to the Zoo

and collect your

Certificate

Immediately!!

ek adhmi ko apni fazool khrchi ka eshaas hoa tou us na bachet kerna ka faisla kiya chunacha us roz woh office sa gher jana ka liya bus mai jana ka bajay bus ka pichay bhaghta hova phoncha or hanpta hova wife sa bola aj mai gher tak bus ka pichay dhorta hova aaya is tera ek rupa ka bachet hoghay (wife na gussa sa kha)ek rupa ka bachet bhi koi bachet hovi agher kisi texi ka pichay dhorta hova aata tou pura 10 rupa ki bachet hoti

ek dost ( dosra dost sa) mera dho bacho kaa name abdul karim or dosra ka afzal karim hai abb tum bataoo teesra ka kiya naam rakho tou dosra dost bolta hai apna teesra bacha ka naam ice cream rakh lo haahahahhahah!!!!!

teacher nay student sawal kia dolat or mehnat may kia fark haystudent nay jawab diajo rakam hum batoor karz day tay hain wo dolat hay or isay wapis lay nay k liay jotay catkhatay hain wo mhenat hay

AIK KHARGOSH ROZ LOHAR KI DOKAN PAY JA KAR TANG KAR TA OR KHETA GAJAR HAY.AIK DIN LOHAR KO GOSA AGIA OS NAY KHARGOSH KAY DAANT TOR DIAY DOSRAY DIN KHARGOSH PHIR AYA OR KHENAY LAGA GAJAR KA JOOS HAY .

why do mice have long tails? well,they--d look silly with long hair!