GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED

Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, I-m sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don-t hurt.

One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.

The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant atmosphere - and let the air out of their tires.

Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

Today-s mighty oak is just yesterday-s nut that held its ground.

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.

If you can remain calm, you just don-t have all the facts.