Sardar

Banta and Santa are sitting in a bar and watching the 11:00 P.M. news. A man is standing on the ledge of a high-rise building, contemplating suicide.

Banta says to the Santa : ""I-ll bet you $20.00 that the man jumps off that building and commits suicide.""

The Santa thinks for a moment then replies: ""OK, you-re on""

They watch for a few minutes and sure enough, the man jumps off the ledge. Santa sighs and reaches for his wallet, but Banta stops him, saying: ""I can-t take your money - I feel too guilty. I have to confess that I watched the 6:00 P.M. news this evening and I knew that the man would jump.

Santa replied: ""Oh, I watched the 6:00 P.M. news too, but I didn-t think he-d jump off again""

Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point, ""Oh..we-ll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?""
That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, ""No problem! we-ll attack USA, it would
take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we-ll automatically get developed.""
All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word.
Someone asked him why he wasn-t happy. The surd replied, ""OH! THAT-S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????""

Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh some how managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a whilewhen the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death.
He says, ""Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck-s goin- on?
Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ridedown there ? Scared Banta replies. ""Yeah, but you-ve got a
driver.

Santa Singh with two red ears went to his
doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and
answered, "" I was ironing a shirt and the
phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I
accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."" ""
Oh Dear! "" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. ""But
....what happened to your other ear?"" ""The scoundrel called back

chota sardaar: Papa, papa, ye Ford kya hoti hain?
Badha Sardaar: beta, ye Ford Gaddi hoti hain
Chota Saardar: papa,papa,ye Oxford kya hoti hain
Badha Sardaar: beta, Ye Oxford Bail Gaddi hoti hain.

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banta Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
Is this one one one one?, says the voice.
No, this is eleven eleven.
Are you sure it isn--t one one one one?
No, this is eleven eleven.
Well, wrong number. I am Santa calling, sorry to have woken you up on the middle of the night.
That--s all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway.

Once a sardarji calls another sardar on the phone and says --Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon--. The other sardarji replies --Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!--

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A policeman pulled Santa Singh over after he had been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: Do you know where you were going? Santa: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the people were leaving