MR BEANS JOKES!

1) BRAIN TUMOR:

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I--m dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!


2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you--ve just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!


3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I--d like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn--t know the alphabet yet!!


4) QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE:

Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!


5) Marriage:

Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16

Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.


6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:

Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it--s a horror film. I didn--t see any picture.

Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.


7) Mr. Bean:

(crying) the doctor called, Mom--s dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.

(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!


8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:

Colleague: Sorry I--m late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That--s alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.


9) Spelling lesson:

Mr. Bean--s Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!