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Vajypayee-s driver is driving along a back country road on the way back to Patna, when all of a sudden a small pig jumps out in front of the car. The pig dies on the spot. Vajpayee, upset, tells the chauffeur to go find the owner of the piglet so that he can pay for the damages. The driver is gone for two hours and when he comes back, he has a bag full of money, and a wondering look on his face. Vajapayee wants to know what happened. The driver tells him ""Hum jab gaaon me pahuncha to dekha kuch log perh ke neeche baithe hain. Jub hum unko bataya ki kya hua hai, tab sare log jama ho gaye. Humko laga ki aaj to hamari pitayee hogee. Par hum dekha ki sare log paisa jama kar rahe hain. Hum socha ki ye sara piasa wo janvar ke malik ke liye hai. Par un logon ne saara paisa hamein de diya.
""Vajpayee says ""Theek theek batao. Tum unko kya bola tha? ""
The driver replies ""Hum kaha ki hum Vajapayee ka driver hoon aur hum sooar ka bachcha ko maar diya hoon.""
he he he

Jawan Ghuncho Ko Batlaao Mohabbat Maar Deti hai
Payaam E Zeest Phelao Mohabbat Maar Deti Hai ,
Sabaq taleem Karte Ho Mat Bholo , Parh,hana Hai
Mohabbat Tarq Farmaao , Mohabbat Maar Deti hai ,
Bohat Lela Bohat Majnu Huye Nazr E Wafa Aakhir
Na ye Sartaan Phelaao , Mohabbat Maar Deti Hai ,
Bohat Dekhe Mareez E Ishq Ham Ne , Ab Taqaaza Hai
Tabeeb E Ishq Ban Jao Mohabbat Maar Deti hai ,
Kisi Ko Ishq Ki RaahO Par Dekho To Keh Dena
Sitam Khud Par Na dHaao ,Mohabbat Maar Deti hai ,
Mujhe Yaaran E Mehfil Se Sawaal Aata Bhi Hai To Kya
Ye KehTe Hai , Palat Aao , Mohabbat Maar Deti hai ,
Musaafat Se, RafaaQat Se,Ye Seekha Wisl O FurQat Se
Agar Tum Is Se Bach jao ,Mohabbat Maar Deti hai...

Wife : Kiya kar rahe ho?
Husband : Makkhian maar raha
hoon,
Wife : Kitni mari?
Hsbnd : 3 female,
2 male,
Wife : Tumhain Kaise pata?
Husband : 3 shishey k samney
baithi thi,
Or
2 gold leaf ki dabbi pe..

Maar Daalay Ga Ye Ehsaas Mujey
Ajnabi Ho Gya Ha Lehja Tera

Dost: logo ne tumhe hospital me q mara?
Doosra Dost: logo ka rush dekh kar mene poocha ke yaha kaunsi film lagi hai, baad me pata chala k wo to ICU tha!

#jokes

Bay ant khayalat mujhe maar hi dein ge
Ye hijr k lamhat mujhe maar hi dein ge

Halaat se larta hua mar jaun ga ik din
Tum dekhna Halaat mujhe maar hi dain gay

Ehsas ki masnad pe bitha rakhtay hain din bhar
Par dukh to kisi raat mujhe maar hi dain gay

Sawan se mumasil hain meri ankhen tere baad
Ye ashk ye barsaat mujhe maar hi dain gay

Ankhon mein ubhar aatay hain har baat pe aansu
Shahi mere jazbaat mujhe maar hi dain gay....!

jawaan ghunchoon ko batlao muhabbat maar deti hai
payaam-e-zeest phailao, muHabbat maar deti hai

sabaq tasleem karte ho to mat bhulo, paRhna hai
muHabbat tark farmao, muHabbat maar deti hai

bohat laila, bohat majnooN hue nazr-e-wafa aaKHir
nah yeh sartaan phailao, muHabbat maar deti hai

bohat dekhe mareez-e-ishq ham ne, ab taqaaza hai
tabeeb-e-ishq ban jaao, muHabbat maar deti hai

kisi ko ishq ki raahoN peh dekho gar to keh dena
sitam KHud par nah tum Dhaao, muHabbat maar deti hai

mujhe yaaraan-e-meHfil se payaam aata bhi hai to kya
yeh kehte haiN, palaT aao, muHabbat maar deti hai

musaafat se, rafaaqat se, yeh seekha wasl o furqat se
agar tum is se bach paao, muHabbat maar deti hai

woh kehte haiN keh Monis ishq par kehte hi rehte ho
radeef ab es ko Thehrao, muHabbat maar deti hai...!