Ahsan Imran

Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to.
Mashook: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye main doobonga to sahara dega.

Narad Muni dharti par madira peene aaye,12 botal pilane k baad theke wala: Apko chadhti kyun nahi ?
Narad: Main Bhagwaan Hoon.
Theke wala: Chad gayi saley ko.

Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye?
Circuit: Simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lagane ka!

Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'

I'm leaving India!
Actually Aishwarya is pregnant and media is suspecting me. Tum bhi nikal lo, uski kaam wali bhi pregnant hai.

Hansna hamara kisi ko gawara nahi hota,
Har musafir zindagi ka sahara nahi hota,
Miltay hain bohat log iss tanha zindagi main,
Par koi doost ap sa accha,piara nahi hota.

Tumhaara intezaar karte karte, main so gaya, Yeh dekho mera connection time out ho gaya

Hum ager aap se mil nahi paatey,
aisa nahi ke aap hume yaad nahi aatey,
maana ke jan ke sub rishtey nibhaye nahi jatey,
par jo bus jaatey hain dil main woh bhulaey nahi jaatey.

Parhay likhay hotay ager kartay kaam hakeemon ka
Bahana nabz ka hota pakrtay haath haseenoo ka