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Santa Singh wanted to lose weight desperately and so he consulted a doctor. The doctor told him that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would lose 34 kilos.
Santa followed the doctors advice and at the end of 300 days, he called the doctor to report that he had actually lost the weight, but had a problem. Whats the problem, asked the doctor?
I am 2400 kilometers away from home

Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident. Banta was visiting him in the hospital. Banta: It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank Wahe Guru that it was your left hand, since you are right handed.
Santa: It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine. Then I realised that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time!

Santa noticed a banana peel on the street.
He mutters to himself: Saddi to kismat hi kharab hai. Aaj phir girna padega!

Banta and Santa buy one race horse each after learning about big money in racing. Says Banta, How do we identify which horse is mine and which one is yours? Santa Singh replies, I will cut the tail of my horse and so the horse without a tail will be mine and the one with a tail will be yours. So they cut the tail of the horse. But in the night their naughty kids cut the tail of the other horse too. And the next day Banta Singh is worried and says, I will cut one of the ears of my horse so the horse with one ear will be mine and the other one will be yours. The next night the kids cut the other horses ears too. And so it goes on until the horses lost their ears, eyes, had broken noses etc. And in the end both horses were left only with bare legs and were just barely living. Both Santa and Banta were frustrated. At last Banta says, BAHUT HO GAYA. SAFED WALA GHORA MERA, KALA WALA TERA

Once Banta Singh goes to dinner with his friends.Just to have some fun one of his friends ask--s Banta, How many Idlis can you eat when your stomach is empty?. For which Banta answers promptly - 8 idlis. His friends laugh at him and say,nobody can eat 8 idlis when their stomach is empty because when they eat the first idli their stomach would no longer be empty.
Banta enjoys the joke very much and as soon as he comes home calls his wife and asks, How many idlis can you eat when your stomach is empty?. She replies - 5 idlis.
Hearing this answer Banta gets furious and replies, You fool! Had you said --8 idlis-- I would have told you a good joke!

There--s a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the --mayyat-- are dancing the bhangra and singing and general --balle balle-- is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its a marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, Singh saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho? ..... comes the reply, Haan ji ! Hai hi baat badi khushi ki !!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar *brain* tumour se mara hai !!!!

Once Santa Singh called Banta Singh for a hearty lunch. Banta Singh arrived promptly on time and was surprised to see the door locked. Then he saw a note which said,---- Kaise ullu banaya!---- Banta Singh was terribly furious, therefore thinking himself to be smart stuck a note saying, ---- Main to aya hi nahein----

one sardarni says to her lover sardar:
when we get engaged will u give me a RING.
sardar says:
yes darling sure! tell me ur phone number

Santa--s Girlfriend: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Santa: It--s very kind of you, darling, But I don--t have any worries or troubles.

Santa--s Girlfriend: Well that--s because we aren--t married yet.