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Types of Girls ( Computer Humor )

CD-ROM GIRLS

She is always faster and faster.

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EMAIL GIRLS

Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense .

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HARD DISK GIRLS

She remembers everything, FOREVER

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INTERNET GIRLS

Difficult to access

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MULTIMEDIA GIRLS

She make horrible thing look beautiful

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SCREENSAVER GIRLS

She is good for nothing but at least she is fun

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RAM GIRLS

She forget about you, the moment turn her off

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WINDOW GIRLS

Everyone know that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

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VIRUS GIRLS

Also known as ""wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes, install herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if don't try you uninstall her you will lose everything.. .

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SERVER GIRLS

Always busy when you need her

Top Ten Signs Your Co-worker Is A Computer Hacker


10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was for $20,000.

9. He-s won the Publisher-s Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years running.

8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.

7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.

6. Somehow gets HBO on his PC at work.

5. Mumbled, ""Oh, puh-leeez"" 95 times during the movie ""The Net.""

4. Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments.

3. His video dating profile lists ""public-key encryption"" among turn-ons.

2. For his welcome voice on AOL, you hear, ""Good Morning, Mr. President.""

1. You hear him murmur, ""Let-s see you use that Visa now, Professor
I- Don-t-Give- A-s-In-Computer-Science!""

If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer


If you messed up your life, you could press ""Ctrl, Alt, Delete"" and start
all over!

To get your daily exercise, just click on ""run""! If you needed a break from
life, click on suspend.

Hit ""any key"" to continue life when ready.

To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.

To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.

To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.

If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.

When you loose your car keys, click on find.

""Help"" with the chores is just a click away.

Auto insurance wouldn-t be necessary. You would use your diskette to
recover from a crash.

And, we could click on ""SEND NOW"" and a Pizza would be on it-s way to you.

* Tales of Technical Support *

Customer: ""My computer crashed!""

Tech Support: ""It crashed?""

Customer: ""Yeah, it won-t let me play my game...""

Tech Support: ""All right then, hit Control-Alt-Delete to
reboot it.""

Customer: ""No, it didn-t crash - it crashed!""

Tech Support: ""Huh?""

Customer: ""I crashed my game. That-s what I said before!
I crashed the spaceship, and now it doesn-t work.""

Tech Support: ""Click on -File-, then -New Game-.""

Customer: [pause] ""Wow! How-d you learn how to do that?""

A good Friend is like a computer
he ENTERS in your life SAVE himself
in your heart,FORMATS all your troubles
and never delete you from his heart.

Hamara Hardisk Aapke Paas Hai

Hum Aapke Memory Mein Rahate Hain

Hum Hai Programmer Oracle Ke

Programmer no 1

Java Wale Job Le Jayenge

Do(2) processor baarah(12) terminal

Mera Code Chal Gaya

Network Ke Uss Paar

Jis Desh Mein Bill(Gates) Rahata Hai

Client Ek Numbari, PROGRAMMER Dus Nambari

Login Karo Sajana

Firewall (Border)

DOWN To Hona Hi Tha

Partition (Deewar)

Kaho Na Virus Hay

Y2K - A Bug Story

PRINCIPAL:
agar koi larka girls hostel main gaya to 1st time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs & 3rd time 500 Rs fine.

.

STUDENT:
sir to monthly paas kay kia chages hongay?



SADIQ

ISDN - It Still Does Nothing
APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM - I Blame Microsoft
WWW - World Wide Wait
PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Math
NT - Network Tragedy
DNS - Does Nothing Special
WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System