Tag: Jokes

1 Class me ek new bachi ai tu sb bachon ne usay khala khala khena shuru krdiya Bachi ne madam ko bula liya
Madam: jin bachon ne isko khala kaha wo khare ho jaen
Sb bache khare ho gay siwaye ek chote bache k
Madam: kia tm ne isko khala nhe kaha?
Bacha: nhe
Madam: Q?
Bacha q k me in sb bachon ka khalu hon.

1 larke ne larki ko call ki.
Lrka: Hello! Jaan I love u.
Lrki: Sachi
Lrka: Muchi
Lrki: 100 ka load kara 2 plz?
Larka: Sorry baji wrong numbr

U R Bandri,
Bandri Means
.
.
.
.
B=beautiful
A=atractive
N=naughty
D=Decent
A=adorabe
R=romantc
I=intelignt
Hun vekh kidi khush a,
Bandri na hovey te….

3 different styles of proposing ;-)
.
.
.
.
English :- Would you mind being my girlfrnd?
.
.
.
.
.
Urdu :- Kya aap meri Huna Passend karoo Gee ?
.
.
.
.
.
Punjabi :- Veli firdi hain!
Kisi gareeb de kam aa ja :-P :-D

1 chor k ghar par police ne chapa mara
.
Chor apni jaan bachany k liye jhooly men late gaya aur Feeder mu men pakar li
.
Police:
Yahan kya kar rahy ho?
.
Chor:
Jujju pi raha hun
.
Police:
Shabash! Jaldi jaldi Jujju pio...
Phir Peep Peep men chalain gay :p

Behn ki Dost
Behn ki tarha hoti hy
Bhai ka Dost
Bhai ki tarha hota hy
To
Phr
Wife ki Dost
Wife ki tarha Q ni hoti?
Wo q dulha bhai keh kr tpati hyKIa ye khulaTzad Nhe

Best msg of the world!
Har wo Din Tumhare liye Eid
Ka hai.
Jis Din Tum
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mujhe Dakh Lo ;-)
.
Thank U
Thank U
Thank U
.
.
.
.
.
Baat apne tak hi
Rakhna Plzzzzz….

Aiweiin banda
nazro mein aa jata hai phr :)

Dunia me 3 log bht masoom
OR
achy hn
(‘,’)/
<))1 me
_//_

2nd meri ammi ka beta

('-')yani ME
<((>
_//_
OR
3rd Apka Dost
(‘,’)
<))yani k phr se me :-D
//

Hosla rakho ap b to itne masom
OR
Acha Dost K frnd ho…

'High class insult'
Larki khoobsurat kuttay k sath ja rhi thi k!
Larky ny dekh kr kaha aap dono behan bhai hain?
Larki:
Ap ko hm dono me sy kon pasand hy?
Larka:
Yaqenan ap,
Larki:
To phir iss k liye apni behan ly aao Hamary haan
"WATTA SATTA"
chalta hy.!.
O teri khair.!.:-/

Ghussy ka aana mard Hony ki Nishani Hai,,
.
mgr
.
Ghussy ko p Jana
.
.
.
"shadi shuda mard"
Hony ki Nishani Hai..., ;-):-P

"Ullu" Ajeeb Parinda Hai:-)
Dunya Isko Naakara samajti Hai
Is Mai Aqal Nahi Hoti
Magr Is ki Himmat Dekho
Ye
sMs kitny Ghor se
Parh Raha Hai
Lo "G" fer bisti ('.')/"
" /)( / / Betho Betho Abhi baki he
Pakistan Ka Sab Se Bara Bewaqoof Insaan Kon Hai?
Ye Jan'nay K Liye Daikhiye Aaj Raat
Theek 12 Baje
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Sheesha
Hahahahahahah.
Fer Bisti.:-)
Koi Nai "G" Ghusa Na Karo Msg Agy sutto sadi v Enj E Bizti Hoe Si.

1 Admi ki aik tang ki haddi toot gayi
Hospital gya to waha dOsrey admi ki dono tangey tooti dekh kar bola !!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Kya aapki 2 biwiyan hain?;-)

Wife: Suno Ji, Larka Paise Urany Laga Hai. Jaha Bhi Chhupati Hoon Dhoond Leta Hai,
Husband: kaminey ki Book Mein Rakh De Exam Tak Nahi Dhoond Pae Ga.!.

Pappu to doctor: Main Susu Subha 8 Bajey karta houn aur Poti 9 Bajey.
Doctor tou Iss main Problem kiya hai?
Pappu: Ankh 10 Bajey Khulti hai.

1 Aadmi Bus Driver se Kitne Ghante Bus Me Rhte Ho?
Bus Driver: 24 Ghante
Aadmi Herat Se: Wo Kese?
Bus Driver: 8 Ghante Is BUS Me
16 Ghante B.V k "BUS" Me.!.

Sir: Agar tum 1jungle may ho or wahan sher aa jay to tum kya karogay?
Boy: Me darakht par charhou ga.
Sir: Agar wo sher darkht par b aa jy to?
Boy: Main Pani main kud jaun ga.
Sir: Agar wo Pani main b aa jy to?
.
Boy:
Ustad G.. Sher nu behen diti hui aye kia usay di side liye ja rhe ho.

BoY & girl 1 Park me bethe te k pAs hi 1 kute ne kuti ki CHumi Li BoY agr bura na mano to me B krlo Girl Ok Pr smbaL k jana kahi kat na Le:D

Husband:
Tumhari Roz Roz Ki Farmaisho Se Tang Aa K Khudkushi Karne ja Raha Hoon
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wife:
2/3 Loan K Suit Banwa Do
iddat Main Kiya Pehnoon Gi ??????

Life me Kbi humari dosti K bare me shak ho
To Akele me 1 siKa uchalna!!!
Agr head ho to "WE ARE BEST FRIENDS"
Aur tail ho to....
.
.
.
.
Palat dena
yaar
AKele me Kon deKhta hai:-P
Dedicated to All LOVELY Friendzzz.;);-)B-)

BIMARI in style:
.
1. Jiya jale jaan jale, raat bhar dhuwaa chale= FEVER
.
2. Tarap tarap k is dil se Aah nikalti rahi= HEART ATTACK.
.
3. Biri jalayile jigar se piya jigar ma bari aag hai= ACIDITY
.
4.Ankhon ki gustakhiyan maaf hn. MOTIYA.
.
5.tujhe yad na meri ayi kisi se ab kya kehna= MEMORY LOSS.
.
6. Mann dole mera tann dole= MIRGI
.
7.juda hoke B, tu mujhme kahin baaki hai= LOOSE MOTION..!
.
8.Na tu aye gi na he chain aye ga= QABAZ:-P

Aik Baat Puchni thi..
.
1973 K Aein Ke Mutabik
.
Agar Biwi Naraz Ho ya Mekay Gai hui Ho..
.
To Kya..
.
.
.
.
.
Nigran Biwi Rakhi Ja Sakti Hai..?

1 Badshah ko 1 LaRki pasand Aagai,
Us LaRki ka Baap sunaaR tha, Badshah ne SunaaR ko DaRbaR me Bulaya,4 Din GuzaRny k Bawajud bhi sunaaR Badshah k DaRbaR me na Aaya to Badshah ne sunaaR ko GiRaftaR kaRny k liey sipaahi Bhejy.jab woh sunaaR k GhaR pohnchy to GhaR ko Taala Laga hua tha, Badshah ne Sipahiyon ko Hukam Diya k sunaaR ko Dhoondo. sipahiyon ne sunaaR ko HaR jagha Dhoonda Lekin wo unko kahein na mila, auR sipahiyon ka SunaaR ko Dhoondny me saRa Waqt Aisy BaRbad hua jesy ap ka is sms ko paRhny me.
Hanso mat meRy sath bhi aisa huwa tha.

Shadi shuda jorey sirf aik hi haal me khush rehtay hain...
.
.
.
.ab ap pocho gy
.
.
.
Kis haal me?
.
.
.
.
.

.
: Shadi hall mein. HAHAHAHA.

1 buzurg frmate hen k mjhe 3 qisam k log bure lagte hen
1 Wo Shakhs jo purana kapra pehne jab k us k pas naya kapra ho,
2 Wo jis k pas khana ho or phir b bhoka rahe,
Phir chup ho gye yaha tk k Ankhn me ansu agye
Kisi ne Pocha 3sra kon hy?
Wo buzurg rone Lage
Roty roty hichkiyan agayi or behosh hogaye
Phir hosh aya or batane lage to dubara behosh
hogaye
Phir kafi der bad hosh aya or farmaya
3sra wo jis k Pas pkg ho or Wo phr b Msg Na kare.
Sharam karo begairto apnay zinda honay ka pata dai dia karo

“Beautiful Advices”

“Mazaaq Zaroor Karo Magar Etna
Yad Rakho k
Mazaaq Kaene or Mazaaq Urane mein
Farq Hota Hai.”

“Roothne Wale ko itna nai Rothna Chahiye
k Manane Wala Khud Hi Rooth jaye.”

“Logon ko jaldi maaf kar dil kro jatni jaldi
tum Allah se maafi ki Umeed rakhty ho.”

“Kisi ki khamoshi ko Takabbur na Samjho Ho
Sakta Hai k wo Khud Apni Zaat Se jang Karne
mai Masroof Ho.”

Dushmano k darmiyan aesey raho jesey 1 Zubaan
32 daanton k darmiyan rehti he.Milti Sab se he
darti kisi se nahi.”

"World Shortest Jokes"

1) 2 Women sitting quietly
2) 2 pathan playing chess!
3) Girlfriend pays the bill

Need More????????



You are so smart!!!!!

Bholaji ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
""Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.""


Bholaji calls Air India. ""How long does it take to fly to Patna?""
""Just a sec,"" says the rep. ""Thank you."" says Bholaji and hangs up.


Bholaji : ""Have you ever read Shakespeare?""
Herolal : ""No, who wrote it?""


Q: So this Bholaji is walking the other day and comes across a banana peel on the road. Can you guess what he must be thinking ?
A: ""Saala aaj bhi girna padega...""


Q: Why did Bholaji stare at the frozen Orange Juice Can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said -concentrate-.


Q: What did Bholaji do when he noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?
A: He turned it over and used the other side.


Q: What did Bholaji do when his wife gave birth to twins?
A: He is out looking for the other man.


Q: Some one asked if Bholaji believed in smoking.
A: He said ""Yes, I-ve seen it done.""


Q: Why does Bhola always smile during lightning storms?
A: He thinks his picture is being taken.


Bholaji Doctor to his patient: ""It`s very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain.""


Then there`s the one about Bholaji who brought his binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a distant relative ...

SardarG Strikes It Rich

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold her for ransom. He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took her behind a tree, and told her, ""I-ve kidnapped you.""

The Sardarji then wrote a note saying: ""I-ve kidnapped your kid.Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag & put it beneath the mango tree next to the slide on the north side of the city play ground"". Signed, ""A Sardarji"".

The Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid-s shirt and sent her home to show it to her parents.

The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath the mango tree. The Sardarji opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note saying,

""How could you do this to a fellow Sardarji ?!""

Aik dafa aik sardar jee apni behan ko bicycle per lay ja rahey hotain hain. Aik ajnabi un ko dekh kar awaz lagata hai ""sardar jee, maashooka lay kar ja rahey ho ?"" tu sardar jee naraz ho kar kehtay hai ""maashooka hogi teri, apni tu behan hai!!!"".

A Sindhi lawyer? Case-wani
A Sindhi lawyer after a case?: Purse-wani
A blue-skier Sindhi?: Akash-wani
What is a communist Sindhi called? Lalwani.
What is a Sindhi who falls from the first floor called? Thadani.
What is a Sindhi who falls from the 17th. floor called? Kriplani.
What is a Sindhi who falls from the 30th. floor called? Marjani.
Q: What is the most noteworthy contribution of the Sindhis- to Hindustani Music? A :- Raga Kirvani.
A god fearing Sindhi? Bhagwandas Godwani
A Sindhi milkman? Gopal Dudeja
A heroic Sindhi soldier? Hiroo Sipahimalani
A Sindhi pest control contractor? Khatmull Marwani
A Sindhi stripper working in New York? Barbra Jhangiani
A Sindhi casanova? Prem Kissinchandani
A Sindhi fire-engine? Bhambhani
A Sindhi detergent? Neelam Rindani
A Sindhi postman? Mailwani
A forgetful Sindhi? Bulo Bhulchandani
A fashionable Sindhi? Primlani
A fat Sindhi? Hathiramani
A Sindhi fly? Makhija
A downtrodden Sindhi? Nichani
A corrupt Sindhi? Chaipani
Why are a Sindhis nostrils big? - Because the air is free.

The biggest shithead and the person in command
can generally be shot with the same bullet.

maine poucha chandse , dekha hai kahe maire yaaar sa hasin chand ne kaha saale itni uper se dikhta hai kiya

Marnay per jannat mileh na mileh
Yeh hawa yeh fiza mileh na mileh
SMS karnay main kanjoosi mat karo
Kiya pata uper ja kar Mobile mileh na mileh....
hmmmmm ya i know this iz funny joke yeh don--t tell me..... ( saniya )

PROFESSOR
Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?

MUNNA BHAI
Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.

****

CIRCUIT
Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.

MUNNA BHAI
Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.

CIRCUIT
Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.

MUNNA BHAI
Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.

CIRCUIT
Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

****

MAMU
Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?

GIRL
Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

****

CIRCUIT
Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe.
Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.

MUNNABHAI
Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?

CIRCUIT
Nehi Bhai, woh apni chain pechan lega

☻ IT NEVER SEEMS TO LAST

I--m scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love... it never seems to last.




☻ MY HEART BREAKS

I could fill a 1000 pages telling U how I feel, and still U would not understand.. So now I leave w/o a sound, except my heart shattering as it hits the ground.




☻ A MILLION

A million words would not bring you back, I know, because I--ve tried. Neither would a million tears. I know, because I--ve cried.




☻ SWEETEST THING

Once Upon a Time, Something happened to me. It was the sweetest thing that ever could be. It was a fantasy, a dream come true it was the day I met you.



Wanna Contect:-0333-9869703

Teacher :What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old

Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Anwser:Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students

Teacher :Because of Quaid-E-Azam--s hard work what do we get on 14th August.
Student:A holiday

Teacher:Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?
Johnny:Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.

salam me usman here student of pcc
aries_usman@hotmail.com
kyun_bata0@yahoo.com
0300-4383274

I don?t make jokes.
I just watch the
government
and
report the facts.


Aftab khan

From: islamabad